Question about a friends trust

[drdoug99]

OK....here's the story.

yesterday at work, my supposedely best friend wants to borrow my car to go home for a second. (he doesnt' have a car, and I have to use my mom's car for work)

so being it's my mom's car and all, i tell him to be careful driving it, and all that. so I give him my keychain, that has 2 seperate keys for the ignition, and the doors.

he comes back, saying he can't start the car, something is stuck in the ignition, and that someone else must have done it while we were working or something. Well I take the keys back, put them in my pocket, and return to work, i'll worry about it later.

so work ends, I get my keys out, and notice only the ignition key is on the keychain. I tell my friend, "where is the door key?? I know it was on there when I gave it to you!~"

he says he dont know, that he didn't see it when I gave it to him, etc.

so then since "something" is stuck in the ignition, the next day my mom gets a locksmith out, and the bill is 65 dollars. Of course, there's 2 inches of the door key stuck in there....my loser friend didn't know which key to use, so he stuck the wrong key in the ignition, and broke it off. (by accident, i'm sure....i've done it before...it does get stuck pretty good)

but the point is, he lied about it, he lied to my mom, cuz my mom called him up to see what he had to say about it, plus he lied to me AGAIN, after I told him that the missing door key was "something" that was stuck...he still denies it.

so my mom wants us to split the 65 dollar fee....since I am not allowed to have anyone drive her car anyway, plus it's my moron friends fault that it happend in the first place.

so basically....I'm pissed at him...it's not the first time he's lied about stuff, but he's never lied to me or my mom like this before...should I be mad at him? like is this a serious enought offense to keep this idiot as a friend?

he also borrowed 2 video games from me last year, that's $100 bucks, that he lost....I want to make him pay up finally for this too, but I know he wont....so what should I do? I want him to pay his debt of the video games he lost, and also now, I dont think me or my mom can trust him again...

hopefully you understand what i'm trying to say... thanks for your time if you read all of this...

[Dakota]

Obviously this guy's a habitual liar. He's gotten away with it for a long time and it will only get worse. You yourself can see that he's lying more and more and now it's costing you. IMO, it's time to cut the ties and let this one back out to sea. See what you can recover as far as the cost of the locksmith and the vid-games, but you'll probably end up eating the cost altogether.

Friends don't lie to friends. (period)

[minir]

Hi drdoug99


drdoug99 looks like you shouldn't have loaned your Mom's car out in the first place imho.

Therefore i'd say you should pay your Mom's bill for the Locksmith.

As to your friend, simply forget it and walk away. It's worth the $ 65 bucks to find out what a loser he is apparently.

Friends like him you do not need in your life imho.

The major part of Friendship is mutual respect, of which he has shown little to either you, or more importantly Your Mom.


You can never trust him again, so why bother with him


regards

minir

[drdoug99]

Originally posted by minir
Hi drdoug99


drdoug99 looks like you shouldn't have loaned your Mom's car out in the first place imho.

yep....i know i shoulnd't have. :sad:

the thing is, I"ve known the guy for almost 7 years now, and his family is really great, he used to be great too....it's hard...

he's been pretty selfish lately too...he's what's called a "user" I guess...he uses his friends for his own needs...me and another friend are always driving him around....and paying for his dinner or movies and crap...very rarely does he pay for something...

thanks for the answers you two...it's just confirming what I felt was the right thing.

[BMED]

Hey Doug,

Cut your loses and ditch this loser! Friends don't lie, cheat and steal from each other...just be glad that it has only gone this far!

Good luck with this and don't look back with regret, you'll be much better off.

BMED

[Mike_W]

Similar thing happened to me a few years back. I was service manager at a local motorcycle/atv/jet boat shop. We were having a special event and were transporting some of our bikes and atv's to a local mall for a show. Since I was service manager and really could not leave to do the transporting myself, I allowed our top salesman to use my truck to haul one atv to the show. Our company truck was already on one delivery. I was the only other truck owner there.
He took my keys and drove the truck around to the loading area which was out of my site of course.
He delivered the atv and when he returned gave me my keys back. When I got a minute to take lunch, I went to my truck (I had a bad feeling for some reason because he avoided me the rest of the morning). I get to my truck and discover the bed panel that is closest to the cab just under the rear sliding glass, was totally caved into the back of my cab! V shaped! It slightly bent my cab enough that the rear sliding glass would not slide open too. I immediately went to him and asked him about it. He denied it. I went to the owner and reported this. He later admitted guilt but my truck was never fixed nor any damages paid. I bent things back out as best I could ( which actually worked well) and never loaned it out again.

[blebs]

I needn't say a thing-minir said it all. BMED as well.

[Rainbow]

Originally posted by SilverDakota
Obviously this guy's a habitual liar. He's gotten away with it for a long time and it will only get worse. You yourself can see that he's lying more and more and now it's costing you. IMO, it's time to cut the ties and let this one back out to sea. See what you can recover as far as the cost of the locksmith and the vid-games, but you'll probably end up eating the cost altogether.

Friends don't lie to friends. (period)

I agree totally...People that lie make me sick.

[mikemean]

It sounds like he isn't that good of a freind after all. Sorry to say it seems he is just using you for his needs. Instead of just ditching him, try sitting down and talking to him to see what the hell his problem is.

[Joint Chiefs of Staff]

Originally posted by BMED
Hey Doug,

Cut your loses and ditch this loser! Friends don't lie, cheat and steal from each other...just be glad that it has only gone this far!

Good luck with this and don't look back with regret, you'll be much better off.

BMED

^^^

BMED hit the nail right on the head.

Count your loses and continue on smartly.

[Humboldt]

Well, I agree with everything that's been said already

You trusted this person and they threw it back in your face, as simple as that.

Ditch the friendship without hesitation...he already did a while ago.

Speak with him first though, let him know exactly why you're angry at him. From the way you told it, he is completely to blame, yet doesn't even have the balls to face up to his own actions.

Speak to him, let him know that it troubles you but you're doing it anyway because HE messed up, HE lied to you and cost you a good amount of money, HE is too immature to act responsibly, and YOU are sick of it.

He should see there is no blame that is not squarely on his own shoulders.

As to the $, well, your mom certainly shouldn't have to pay the $65. Your friend should, but if he's too much of a candy-ass to face his problems then it's your debt now.

[emobley3]

It seems to me that you already know the answer. This guy is not a friend. Cut your losses and get away from him.

[ms_pammy]

ohhh my...he's a liar, and here is a lil saying I told myself about friends....IF they will do with you around, they will to it to you!!! If I know a person is a lair or thief or whatever and choose to be friends with them, then I also must know that since they are this way in general, then they sure can be to me too.

Nope he is not your true friend since you were not excempt from his lieing.

[Norm]

It sounds like you use the word "friend" a bit too losely.

You may be 'his' friend, but he isn't your friend.
It hurts to find these things out, but worth it in the long haul.

[drdoug99]

cool guys....i'm glad i have friends here at SG i can trust...thanks for the more replies.

it's weird....I used to have a friend that took everything way too seriously...you couldn't tell him a joke or anything...he'd get mad or take what you said out of context, etc.

well this "friend" is the exact oppisite...he takes everything as a joke...so when I tell him something serious, he doesn't take it seriously....

i'll head over there tomorrow....give him my "ultimatim" if you will....

[Humboldt]

Originally posted by drdoug99
cool guys....i'm glad i have friends here at SG i can trust...

No problem Dr D
Oh, can you lend me 80 bucks for a new video card?


jk. Let us know how it turns out, eh? No need to be an ass, but let him know that he's really jerked you around and it pisses you off.

[nomahe]

Sounds like you're way more of a friend to him than he is to you.
Sorry to say, and very late at that, but you've been given great advice above.
I just went through it and had to do the same thing. Don't be friends with someone that can't be as good a friend back to you.

[Suzie]

Just had a similar problem, work friendship too(trust), friendship is no more. IMHO a true friend is someone you can tell anything too, trust honestly/openly and always tells it like it is.

Hope it works out for you.

[Humboldt]

How'd it go?

[monkeyhead]

if he dont pay up.... take him to court.... judge judys court of course... or mills lane or any of those......

id say talk to him about it though..... good luck

[p2ii]

that is a super punk move. I would ditch that freak.

[Ashdaw]

Drdoug99, I would allow this guy to fade into the background and just let him wallow in his own poo.

Eventually, he will run out of people to use and realise he has lost more than he gained.

Just dont harden yourself to making other friends...