Do any of you couples have rules for fighting/arguing?

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 10:48 pm

We sure as hell don't in this house.

Gixxer · Post by **Gixxer** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:10 pm

[video=youtube;6_bqTQWrJw4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_bqTQWrJw4[/video]

RoundEye · Post by **RoundEye** » Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:12 pm

In 12 years I think my ex and I got into one no-holding back fight, the day she left or I kicked her out, depending which side the coin you reside on.

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 2:28 am

Lefty wrote:We sure as hell don't in this house.

only one,no touching in an aggressive or hurting way,otherwise,anything else goes !

Post by **YeOldeStonecat** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:10 am

Try not to go to bed angry
My own internal rule...never raise a hand at a woman
Not in front of the kids
Another internal rule...I do my best to keep name calling out of it.

TonyT · Post by **TonyT** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:26 am

When my kids were little, my wife & I would stick 'em in front of the tv and say, "Mom & Dad are going into Dad's office and we are going to lock the door. You're going to hear yelling and screaming, but that's a good thing. Don't try to come it there. We are going to be happy when we come out."

The wife & I would agree in advance to certain rules, such as no hitting, no throwing stuff, etc. Then we'd start with, "OK, go ahead, you start." That would go back & forth a few times until one of us voiced what was on their mind while the other listened. All of the things we were upset about, pissed about or critical of would get voiced. The hard part is keeping your cool. After we'd voice what bothered us, we'd get down to the real causes of the relationship souring...we'd voice the things we did that we were withholding from each other. Stuff like, "I flirted with the waitress at Joe's bar" or "I spent 150 bucks on a dress and shoes that I really didn't need & that's why we couldn't pay the elec. bill on time." An hour or two later we'd emerge smiling and happy again, wondering how on earth the relationship had deteriorated. All those little things add up and occasionally a big thing snarls up the scene. The ONLY reason any relationship fails is because of dishonesty.

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 11:26 am

I find it extremely weird that spouses would agree beforehand to no hitting before an argument, isn't that always implied, unless she caught you cheating, then yeah, I'd expect to get lumped up. LOL

We don't really have any verbal rules in my house other than screaming at each other in front of the kids. We go to sleep mad at each other all the time.

Post by **YeOldeStonecat** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 11:33 am

JBrazen wrote:I find it extremely weird that spouses would agree beforehand to no hitting before an argument, isn't that always implied,

One would think so...but there are some guys out there that think they're tough by beating on women.

cybotron r_9 · Post by **cybotron r_9** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 11:59 am

Two words every man should learn when he ties the knot........"Yes Dear"

Sava700 · Post by **Sava700** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 12:24 pm

There are rules? lol

naw my own rules would be not infront of kid, no touching so depending on how pissed I get some small objects may find themselves thrown across the yard. I will take my aggression out on a tree with a big oak stick I have that I've not managed to break yet.

blebs · Post by **blebs** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:55 pm

I've learned to bite my tongue. It's not worth it in the long run. Sure, I hold the stress in and that's not good, but I don't need my nosy ass neighbors hearing the screaming and calling the cops.

Rainbow · Post by **Rainbow** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:47 am

Disagree yes it happens, Fight..never. I will not ever "yell or scream" at anyone and I will not accept anyone yelling or screaming at Me. Period. Not at home not at work. There is no reason Ever to yell or scream at anyone. Especially those who you love.

RoundEye · Post by **RoundEye** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:11 am

YeOldeStonecat wrote:One would think so...but there are some guys out there that think they're tough by beating on women.

I have to admit, I clocked a lady once There’s more to it then I’ll write here. It’s a long story. A friend of mine and I were in a 1%’er bar. It was a scary place. Who walks in, the lady he just broke up with, it was a nasty break up too. She started screaming right away. “I want my TV back”

She hit him with a pool stick and tried to stab me. I tagged her in the face to get her to drop the knife. The bitch went absolutely bat s**t crazy. But she dropped the knife and went back after him.

While this was going on the bar had erupted, glasses were flying, guns were going off, I was ass hole and elbows out the door. I had to fight with people to get to the truck. I never went into that bar again. The people in that bar used the commotion with her to start a beef with whoever may have pissed them off in the past. Man that place just blew up into chaos.

Easto · Post by **Easto** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:19 am

Rainbow wrote:Disagree yes it happens, Fight..never. I will not ever "yell or scream" at anyone and I will not accept anyone yelling or screaming at Me. Period. Not at home not at work. There is no reason Ever to yell or scream at anyone. Especially those who you love.

I would have to agree. My wife's first husband was both verbally and physically abusive during their marriage. I've seen how that effects a human being and I never want to be a part of something like that. I believe it has no place in a mature relationship. Maybe it's in part due to the way I was raised. I cannot remember one time that I ever heard my parents arguing or yelling (let alone become violent). They may have disaggreed here in there but they knew when to pick their battles and I guess they really never chose to battle.

Paft · Post by **Paft** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:56 am

Rainbow wrote:Disagree yes it happens, Fight..never. I will not ever "yell or scream" at anyone and I will not accept anyone yelling or screaming at Me. Period. Not at home not at work. There is no reason Ever to yell or scream at anyone. Especially those who you love.

This is the ideal, in my world. Now, my wife and I have had raised voices, but so far it's never turned into screaming or yelling. Generally when voices are raised, the other person involved goes quiet and waits for the speaker to finish, and reminds them that the raised voice isn't nessicary. It tends to work quite well.

Rainbow · Post by **Rainbow** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 12:25 pm

Paft wrote:This is the ideal, in my world. Now, my wife and I have had raised voices, but so far it's never turned into screaming or yelling. Generally when voices are raised, the other person involved goes quiet and waits for the speaker to finish, and reminds them that the raised voice isn't nessicary. It tends to work quite well.

I agree, I don't raise My voice, just the way I was programmed I guess. Occasionally My wife will but when she does I walk away. She gets the point. I won't tolerate yelling or Screaming. No one should have to IMO.