How can I politely....

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:20 pm

Kick a co-worker out of my office?

This ass does nothing all day and like every five minutes he would come in and sit in a chair.

I'm thinking get rid of the chair, maybe that will send a message?

triniwasp · Post by **triniwasp** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:24 pm

*clears throat* (just at Humby's mom's house

) Although I do enjoy stopping whatever I'm in the middle of everytime you come into my office, I must get this work done. So if you don't mind could you cease all your visits until I'm finished with my work. By the way, you'll know I'm finished with my work when I come into your office and BUG THE F(*K OUTA U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That'll let'm know.

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:25 pm

triniwasp wrote:*clears throat* (just at Humby's mom's house ) Although I do enjoy stopping whatever I'm in the middle of everytime you come into my office, I must get this work done. So if you don't mind could you cease all your visits until I'm finished with my work. By the way, you'll know I'm finished with my work when I come into your office and BUG THE F(*K OUTA U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That'll let'm know.

Good one. I needed that.

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:30 pm

when he comes in ... you leave ..

getting rid of the chair

ace · Post by **ace** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:30 pm

Cabledude wrote: I'm thinking get rid of the chair, maybe that will send a message?

That would be the best option. LMFAO!!!

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:37 pm

when he sits down, stop what you are doing and pull your chair right up to his. Look him in the eye and say nothing. Breath in his face. Do this until he leaves.

Don't say a word.

Tiffany · Post by **Tiffany** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:39 pm

MadDoctor wrote:when he sits down, stop what you are doing and pull your chair right up to his. Look him in the eye and say nothing. Breath in his face. Do this until he leaves.

Don't say a word.

Jim · Post by **Jim** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:39 pm

Chair + duct tape + ceiling = clear message.

Immortal · Post by **Immortal** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:45 pm

When you know he's coming in... take out a tub of vaseline, grab a picture of him, put picture in hand and other hand in pants.

When he comes in.. act surprise and go..' oh.. hi... would you lend me a hand?'

Ahren · Post by **Ahren** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:59 pm

5 simple words: "Cram it with walnuts, ugly!"

golfnintendoboy · Post by **golfnintendoboy** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:10 pm

when he comes in and sits down in your chair, stand up, walk out of the office, and to the bathroom. wait 5 minutes. come back out, see if he is still in office. if yes, repeat. if he later asks you about it, just say you get chlosotrophobic around him.

thepieman · Post by **thepieman** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:21 pm

If you wanna do it without offending him/her, try telling him/her that the boss noticed that You have been gabbing a little too much and that it needs to stop..it will work unless he/she's porking the boss and knows everything thats said.

Massa · Post by **Massa** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:58 pm

My solution would be to pick up your phone and pretend to be in a conversation every tim e he walks in. Better yet.. use skype to call your office phone.. that way it will even ring. After abot 10 times he will just give up.

Chris · Post by **Chris** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:00 am

Thumb tacks on chair

Vasaline on arms of chair

Eat chilly with extra beans, gas him out

Pull your chair up next to him and slip him the hand

Sneeze and cough alot without covering your mouth and blow your nose alot

Squirt gun

Chris · Post by **Chris** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:00 am

Ignore him with an angry look on your face

When he starts talking, nod off to sleep

Start crying uncontrollably

Ask him, " What Now "

Fart bag

Fly paper :2cool:

Chris · Post by **Chris** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:02 am

Dust chair with talc, so it PUFFS when he sits down

Dust chair with itching powder

put electric chair in it place then have some fun

Jump up and down and scream at him for bothering you all the friggin time

Croc · Post by **Croc** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:08 am

Just tell him you are busy and could he find something constructive to do.

I agree... get the chair out of there. Quick fix and subtle to boot.

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 6:45 pm

@ you guys.

I did get rid of the chair. He came into the room today and said "where's my chair?" and "Is this a sign that you did not want me in here?"

I said "No, I'm thinking about rearranging the room."

thepieman wrote:If you wanna do it without offending him/her, try telling him/her that the boss noticed that You have been gabbing a little too much and that it needs to stop..it will work unless he/she's porking the boss and knows everything thats said.

Good suggestion, but unfortunately it won't work.

The reason I don't want to be bothered with this person is because he praises the boss.

The boss IMO is not a leader and no good. I don't want him (the boss) praised to me ever

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:13 pm

I could always shut the door.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:49 pm

When he comes in... shut the door and ask him to answer you honestly. Ask him how he feels about getting emotionally involved with farm animals. When he laughs... tell him you thought he was your friend and you trust him. Start to open a portfolio of animal pictures. Ask him how the pictures make him feel. Tell him to be honest and then pull the hand lotion out of your drawer.

Show him this picture and tell him you have more... but not right now. Tell him to come back later when you can talk in privacy. Before he goes… tell him you are relying on his discretion and friendship. As he leaves… look Longley at this picture and wisper.

Tell him that young animals like to suckle. They like to suckle a lot.

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:38 pm

Oh geez maddoc.

Croc · Post by **Croc** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 5:12 am

MadDoctor wrote:When he comes in... shut the door and ask him to answer you honestly. Ask him how he feels about getting emotionally involved with farm animals. When he laughs... tell him you thought he was your friend and you trust him. Start to open a portfolio of animal pictures. Ask him how the pictures make him feel. Tell him to be honest and then pull the hand lotion out of your drawer.

Show him this picture and tell him you have more... but not right now. Tell him to come back later when you can talk in privacy. Before he goes… tell him you are relying on his discretion and friendship. As he leaves… look Longley at this picture and wisper.

Tell him that young animals like to suckle. They like to suckle a lot.

Someday, sometime, somehow Doc........... we gotta meet up.

Spammy · Post by **Spammy** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:07 pm

triniwasp wrote:*clears throat* (just at Humby's mom's house ) Although I do enjoy stopping whatever I'm in the middle of everytime you come into my office, I must get this work done. So if you don't mind could you cease all your visits until I'm finished with my work. By the way, you'll know I'm finished with my work when I come into your office and BUG THE F(*K OUTA U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That'll let'm know.

ahhahah

Humbys mom jokes never get old LOL

Thanks Triniwasp

Roody · Post by **Roody** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:31 pm

Immortal wrote:When you know he's coming in... take out a tub of vaseline, grab a picture of him, put picture in hand and other hand in pants.

When he comes in.. act surprise and go..' oh.. hi... would you lend me a hand?'

Roody · Post by **Roody** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:32 pm

MadDoctor wrote:When he comes in... shut the door and ask him to answer you honestly. Ask him how he feels about getting emotionally involved with farm animals. When he laughs... tell him you thought he was your friend and you trust him. Start to open a portfolio of animal pictures. Ask him how the pictures make him feel. Tell him to be honest and then pull the hand lotion out of your drawer.

Show him this picture and tell him you have more... but not right now. Tell him to come back later when you can talk in privacy. Before he goes… tell him you are relying on his discretion and friendship. As he leaves… look Longley at this picture and wisper.

Tell him that young animals like to suckle. They like to suckle a lot.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:38 pm

I think Chris is onto something. Flatulence can be a great ally if used and controlled correctly...

Beer, boiled eggs, chile and brussel sprouts the night before should do quite nicely for this task. Be sure that you do not use the restroom (#2) the morning of the event. You are a man and can handle the pains until the time is right to release...

Now, if you want to get a jump on the situation and the gas pains are too hard to handle, take a stroll into his office and present him with your gift, a nice air biscuit... This should cause him to steer clear of you for quite some time...

Roody · Post by **Roody** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:41 pm

Ken wrote: Now, if you want to get a jump on the situation and the gas pains are too hard to handle, take a stroll into his office and present him with your gift, a nice air biscuit... This should cause him to steer clear of you for quite some time...

Better to go into the guys office.

DaddyLongLeg · Post by **DaddyLongLeg** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:01 pm

Cabledude wrote:
I'm thinking get rid of the chair, maybe that will send a message?

This worked for a co-worker of mine. He is like an inhouse underwriter and everyone would come into his office and ask him stupid questions. So he put the chair next to Spammy's and my desk, now they ask us stupid @$$ questions. Maybe it's the chair

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:38 pm

He had the nerve to actually go sit at my desk today.

Gixxer · Post by **Gixxer** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:02 pm

when he comes in....SMASH THE CHAIR OVER HIS HEAD!

Sarahnn · Post by **Sarahnn** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:12 pm

Cabledude wrote: @ you guys.

I did get rid of the chair. He came into the room today and said "where's my chair?" and "Is this a sign that you did not want me in here?"

I said "No, I'm thinking about rearranging the room."

Good suggestion, but unfortunately it won't work. The reason I don't want to be bothered with this person is because he praises the boss.

The boss IMO is not a leader and no good. I don't want him (the boss) praised to me ever

Then there is only one solution. When he sits down, you get up from your chair slowly walk over to him, lean in, put your hand on his knee, give it a little squeeze and say... "so, when are you going to let me take you to dinner?" Smile and watch his reaction. He won't be back........

unlesssssssssss...........

in that case, you will owe him a dinner.

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:48 am

GSXR 750 wrote:when he comes in....SMASH THE CHAIR OVER HIS HEAD!

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:41 pm

DaddyLongLeg wrote:This worked for a co-worker of mine. He is like an inhouse underwriter and everyone would come into his office and ask him stupid questions. So he put the chair next to Spammy's and my desk, now they ask us stupid @$$ questions. Maybe it's the chair

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:46 pm

Spammy wrote:ahhahah

Humbys mom jokes never get old LOL

Thanks Triniwasp

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 7:05 pm

He comes in like every five minutes now. It's annoying as hell

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 7:12 pm

Pull up a goatse pic on the comp pont at it and say "Someday..someday that will be me." Wiggle yer butt around in the chair some and sigh...and mention that you think it's time for a circumference upgrade.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 9:47 pm

Cabledude wrote:He comes in like every five minutes now. It's annoying as hell

Put this pick up as your background,

that'll learn him, if prey dont scare him get a new job.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 9:52 pm

Cabledude wrote:He comes in like every five minutes now. It's annoying as hell

KICK HIM THE **** OUT!!!!!!!

Tell him your favorite story about the time you had to popa pimple on the inside of your anus!!

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:10 pm

When you see him coming pick up the phone and pretend your on a call ..works like a charm .... or just fart when he comes in ...

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:12 pm

Find something he loves and verbally strike out and attack it with every ounce of passion within you!

Seriously dude we have given you more than enough ideas. MAKE YOUR STAND!!!!