Just in time for the weekend. Have fun
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By SYLVI CAPELACI, STYLE EDITOR
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BEAUTY may be in the eye of the beholder, but to find the perfect mate, you must get past the first date. And it's a biggy. Flirting and body language is only part of that all important first impression formed within 90 seconds to four minutes of meeting someone. In short, looks count.
"We make snap judgments based on instinct, but the fact is almost every facet of our personality is evident from our appearance, posture and the way we move," says author and BBC relationships writer Tracey Cox.
First dates can be terrifying, without added panic over what to wear. Although there are no foolproof guidelines on how to dress for success on a first date, a few good fashion tips and a little common sense will send you on your way in style.
Keep in mind though, that we are not all cut from the same cloth, so fashion rules were made to be broken. If it's your natural way to toss tradition, then do so. Better he or she gets to know the real you, right from the start.
Here are a few basic how-to tips when dressing for a casual, semi-casual and formal first date.
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GALA GLAMOUR
Today, more young urban professionals are lending a helping hand to their favourite charities. The couple in this scenario met on the advertising committee for a local fundraiser. They've been at meetings together in the planning stages for this big event and have arranged for their first date to be at the grand ball.
The dress code of the grand ball is "black tie optional," which means he is not required to wear a tuxedo, but a formal dark suit and tie are mandatory. She must wear either a cocktail dress, long dress or dressy evening separates.
HIM: With a formal dress code, it's tricky for a guy to express his personal style. He wants to impress her, but fears getting lost in a sea of penguins. Fortunately, not every black suit is created equal. Look for a uniquely cut jacket that offers extra detailing. Select a shirt and tie that let you colour up a bit, but not in a cartoony way. This is also not the night to be channelling your inner romantic pirate -- so nix the ruffled shirt with laced-up neckline. The overall look, right down to your shoes, should be one of luxury and elegance.
HER: This evening is all about sophistication and glamour, but not in a show-off movie star way that might upstage the guest of honour. She does, however, want to turn a few heads, including that of her date.
To be the belle of the ball requires the perfect gown in terms of cut, colour and fabric to play up your best assets. Avoid frou frou, excessive lace, ruffles or bows that will just confuse the guy. A clean-lined dress in a knockout colour that brings out your complexion, eyes and hair colour is the best bet. Add one or two lavish accessories -- such as a sparkly beaded bag and a great piece of jewelry. Those who are self-conscious about their upper arms should carry an evening shawl. A sexy, strappy shoe is also a must -- just in case he's also judging you by your shoes.
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COFFEE SHOP COOL
This couple first clicked on the Internet and have arranged to meet at a coffee shop for their first date. Although they have exchanged photos, a lot is riding on this all important first impression. The click of a mouse is one thing. A chemistry click, quite another.
For this rendezvous, remember -- less is more. Though you may feel tempted to don your sexiest dress-to-impress clothes, don't do it. The micro mini skirt and stilettos will scream, "she's trying way too hard." Ditto the skin- tight leather pants on him -- she'll peg you as a walking billboard for singles, or way too self-absorbed.
On the flip-side, forget sweats or workout wear -- you will appear as if you just don't care or respect him or her enough to look well groomed. A cool pair of jeans that fit well is a safe choice.
HIM: Pair jeans with a casual winter sweater or cardigan and T-shirt. Pick colours that complement your skintone and eye colour (ask a sales clerk for help if you lack confidence shopping or suffer from colour blindness). Ditch the old runners and opt for a pair of casual leather boots or shoes and take time to give them a polish.
HER: Make sure your jeans are not cut so low on the hips that he can read the label on your undies -- that's just way too much info for a first date.
Wear a body conscious T-shirt or a crisp tailored shirt with a shirt jacket or sweater to pull the look together. Choose colour combinations that enhance your skin tone, hair and eye colour. Wear a polished pair of boots or shoes and carry an inconspicuous handbag. Leave the overstuffed knapsack at home so as not to distract his attention from you. Do wear a few well placed accessories that put your individual stamp on what could otherwise be anyone's outfit.
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DINNER DYNAMICS
Many singles meet through sporting clubs that bring people with similar interests together. This couple met on the ski slopes in full head-to-toe snow gear and have agreed to spend their first date with both feet planted firmly on the ground, sharing a movie, then cocktails and dinner at a trendy supper club.
To make this love connection a lasting one requires the right balance of casual and chic.
If the restaurant permits denim, then a trendy pair of jeans gets the thumbs up. A safer choice would be cords, cargos, khakis or casual dress pants in a fabulous fabric. Overall, you want to look hip, urban and approachable -- not too businesslike in a suit, nor too casual, like sloppy-Joe.
HER: Practise restraint. Even if you've got the bod, this is not the time to dazzle him in that slinky navel-grazing top. Wait for his invitation to take you dancing at a club. For this first encounter, think classic with a twist. A slim-lined top with a modestly scooped neckline paired with a bright cropped sweater will show off your curves and leave him wanting more. Plaid trousers with looser legs keep your look relaxed, not forced. A conch belt and western boots will reveal a splash of your fun, outgoing personality. If he's your Marlboro man, this outfit will take you to a second date.
HIM: Experts say men tend to overdress more than women on their first date. In this scenario, head for the middle ground. "Choose items that act as a backdrop to let your personality shine through," says Jeff Cairns, of The Coop. He suggests a cargo pant, unstructured jacket and tailored shirt combination. "The outfit shouldn't overwhelm the wearer. It should say you are successful, in tune with trends and enjoy quality, but at the same time you are relaxed and casual by nature."
Comfort is also key. Dressing out of character will send a terribly awkward or self-conscious message to this potential mate. Finally, make sure your footwear is impressive -- it's true that a woman will judge a man by his shoes.
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STYLIN' TIPS
BBC relationships writer Jay Hunt offers the following tips to give you every chance of successfully negotiating date No. 2:
WOMEN:
- Less is more, you want to look alluring, not downright cheap.
- Wear discreet jewelry, not masses of gold -- he won't understand the fashion irony of the St. Tropez chic look.
- Looking too trendy is a bad idea. Your best friend might be jealous of your outfit, but your date may find it plain scary.
- If in doubt, think Meg Ryan rather than Madonna -- a mysterious feminine look is a definite winner with most men.
- Never be tempted to use hairspray: It looks naff, smells horrid and your date will get an unpleasant surprise if they touch your helmet hair.
MEN:
- Do remember less is more in every respect on a date, be it bronzer, aftershave or jewelry.
- Only wear sandals if you have good feet -- yellow toe-nails are not sexy.
- Don't show off your tattoos, play it safe and save them for a showing on a later date.
- Never try to impress your date with inside fashion knowledge if you don't know what you are talking about. Chances are she will know more than you and will see through your act.
- Give your date a compliment on what she's wearing. Even if you dislike her outfit, find one thing to focus on and be complimentary.
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BEAUTY AND GROOMING TIPS
"A smile is the best weapon you have in your arsenal," says Style By Jury makeup artist Korby Banner to all men and women with only one chance to make a great first impression on their first date.
He also notes these hot tips:
MEN:
- A facial a few days before would be great.
- Nails clean and clipped.
- A fresh haircut. Neck and sideburns well trimmed.
- Teeth -- brush, floss, and gargle. Kissable is the point.
- Eye drops, if needed. Alert and fresh is alluring.
- Shave before you go out. Note: Only extremely handsome, well-chiseled, young men look good with stubble.
WOMEN:
- Use a good oil-free moisturizer.
- If you need a lip-wax or bleach, do it at least three days before, so there is no redness.
- Shape and groom brows really precisely.
- Keep your base and concealer to a bare minimum. Men are suspicious of visible mask-like product on the skin. Bring shine remover tissues to keep a fresh matte look all night.
- Avoid blood-red or hot-pink lipstick. Wear a colour no more than two shades darker than your own lips. Apply a shimmery gloss to keep lips looking moist.
- Use a neutral eye-shadow, not brights that will pull the focus away from your features.
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Good Luck
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