new e-mail mediacom buys wendys!!!!!

[lblax]

As we have previously announced, Mediacom has been developing a new
high-speed burger service, Mediacom onion hs, to replace the wendys chain!!
service that will be discontinued on February 28, 2002
When we begin the transition process in your area we will call to notify
you of the transition date. A message will be left on your voicemail or
answering machine if no one is available at the time of the call. To
prepare for the transition, we are providing you the following
instructions, which will enable you to find your way to the
Mediacom Onion service. We encourage you to follow the instructions
below to prepare for the transition to the Mediacom Onionsm high-speed burger service. Also, a Mediacom Onionsm Help site has been developed
to provide self-help information to guide you through many of the common
questions you might have about the Mediacom Onion sm
service. This site can be found at http://help.mymediacomonion.com/.
To make the transition easier, we've created for wendys users an
Automated ordering Utility (The ordernater), which will change your
order and side dishes to what we feel you need. The ordernater can be found at
http://newuser.mchsi.com/ (this site should be available on or around
February 9). Once available, please download this utility to insure that
your order will be be prepared exactly as we see fit.
In most cases, the ordenater alone will perform all the tasks necessary
to get you up and running on our new burger experiance. The Web page above will help
you confirm that the ordenater is right for you, and if it isn't (for
example,if you want a shake instead of coke or rings instead of fries), you'll find
instructions on how to eat what we give you and like it while you do it!!

The ordernater will automatically change your Outlook towards food!!
your tastes, and configure your stomach for
the new Mediacom Onionsm service. Information on how to manually change your order will be posted as soon as another high speed burger franchise shows on the horizon.

As part of the new network, your Mediacom Onionsm service will include
certain feature changes, which are listed below:
!. slow service
2.poor quality food stuffs
3.and in your to go orders there will be more missing packets then previously at wendys
High-Speed burger
- The new Mediacom Onionsm network has been built to optimize our profit and our
customers' high-speed eating experience. This means that customers'
meat content will will drop in half to ensure that all
customers receive an optimized burger experience!! by doing this we will be offering half the meat at the same price thus creating an overall lower overhead less maintanance (by not overloading a system capable of creating fast 1/4 lb burger to a more fat free lower chlorestrial 1/8lb burger that we know you need and enjoy)
Until you receive a call from Mediacom regarding the new service
transition in your area, please do not contact your states attorny general or talk to potetial custermers about previous service(face it they will be happy with the newer smaller burger) and please no comments to local town boards or comments to local newspapers these people can actually get contracts from other burger joints!!!!!!!
While we realize these potential changes may cause some inconvenience,
please be assured that we are working hard for our valued customers to
avoid or minimize service disruptions. However, if, despite our efforts,
any of our customers' service is significantly disrupted as a result of
the transition from wendys to Mediacom onionsm, we really dont care because last we look we were the only burger joint in town!
Mediacom is deeply committed to providing you reliable high-speed burger
service and communicating to you timely notices regarding changes. Please
check our Announcements area at http://www.mymediacom.burger/ for the latest
information about your high-speed burger service. rest assured that as soon as another burger joint shows up we will immediatly go back to our 1/4 pound burgers after our yrs off profit to keep our customer base.


hope this didnt offend anyone and hopefully a few got a good chuckle

[Dakota]

Originally posted by lblax

hope this didnt offend anyone and hopefully a few got a good chuckle

It coulda been funny if the links would have worked.