Feelin A Little Bummed =(

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:24 pm

Hey Peeps,

Today is the birthday of my little Bro, whom passed away when he was 8. He passed away years ago but I've always had a problem dealing with it. Sometimes it feels as if it happened just yesterday, the memory of the day that I found out that he passed away is all to fresh in my memory. My family is going today to his grave and put some flowers and stuff. I have never in all the time that he has been deceased, been able to visit his grave. I'm almost scared to go. I dunno whats wrong with me, I just can't bring myself to go and visit him, the pain is just too great I guess. I think about how things would be if he were still around and I get really depressed since we were only 1 year apart, he woulda been 22 today. I guess the death of a loved one is something that you never get over, but I just wish that there were some way that I could bring myself to go today, but I don't think that there is. My fiance tells me to go all the time and she always offers to go with me, but I always tell her no. I wouldn't want my future wife seeing me sobbing like a little baby before we get married, LOL. I know that someday before it's my turn to go that I'll have go and visit him, I guess it all just scares me

Anyone ever have an extra hard time dealing with the death of a loved one?

R.I.P. John Gabrielle Reyes, I'll be with ya up there one day, when? I don't know, but I know that we'll meet again.

Norm · Post by **Norm** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:33 pm

The best thing for you would be to go, no matter how you feel about breaking down in front of family and friends. It will ease your mind and soul for the rest of your life. Scary as the thought may seem it'll help you forever.

I wouldn't want my future wife seeing me sobbing like a little baby before we get married

You're human, let it show, don't be embarrassed, even us big tough guys have emotions Prey. Let them out!!

Sad story Prey, I even shed some tears while posting back this response

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:40 pm

Death is a very hard thing to deal with Prey, my heart goes out to you.

We all deal with death in a differant way but knowing your beliefs, I can only suggest that focus on what you believe to get you though this time of sadness.

**Hi Norm, Happy to see you again.**

Noevo · Post by **Noevo** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 12:42 pm

hey Prey, i can understand your feelings a little. My Grandma who raised me (grew up with living with my grandparents and my Dad. She was for all intents and purposes my mother. She died in '89 so she just missed seeing me graduate from High School, always bugged me for some reason. Anyway when she died I really went into a tail spin. had problems with family and in general just wasn't right. to this day I have not gone to visit her grave site. Everyone else in my family has gone, but for some reason I just don't want to. which makes me feel guilty sometimes. I figure I may go there eventually, when I feel the time is right. I like what I remember of her and I have this feeling that going to see her would bring up all the bad memories of when she died. I think about her all the time, even though she was my grandma she was relatively young. Early 60's.

hope this helps you understand that at least your not alone Prey.

Venus · Post by **Venus** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 1:14 pm

oh Prey i understand i still haven't visited my mothers grave, i love her so much maybe it's a way of shutting it out and not accepting, i will when i'm ready to face it.

AoDLiQuiD-M3tH · Post by **AoDLiQuiD-M3tH** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 1:15 pm

Man thats really a shame but holding in your emotions, instead of expressing them to someone really makes it worse. I never lost a family member but my BEST friend died a month and ahalf ago. He was the brother I never had people thought we were lovers we were togeather so much. And his birthday is comming up also and it really is hard for me. But talking to my parents and breaking down in front of them seemed a little wierd at fist but after the whole "pride" thing I really felt alot better about it.

Blitz · Post by **Blitz** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 2:01 pm

Sorry about your Bro

I fortunately have not lost anyone who has been close to me....so I can't really emphatize....but I can imagine the pain of it....

Just be thankful to God that you still have your parents, your fiance and your health.

Worse has happened to others....

Take care buddy.

Cornbread · Post by **Cornbread** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 2:34 pm

go visit him dude, trust me...in the long run it will make you feel better. and don't worry about sobbing, that just shows you are human, even the "prey" man is human.

take care

SeedOfChaos · Post by **SeedOfChaos** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 3:07 pm

Bro, I can really feel your pain. My brother died of a brain tumor when I was about 11. He was 1 3/4 years older than me and my best friend. Time has somewhat healed the wounds, but still I find myself thinking about how he'd be today, what kind of stuff he'd like doing, etc. For me it's more difficult on his birthday than on the day of his death though. His death was a release from more than two years of suffering, but on his birthday I wonder what would be if he were still alive...

Hang in there, talking to people about it helps. If you wanna talk to me, I'm on ICQ (privacy mode).

Ronald

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 3:11 pm

Hi Prey, sorry to hear about your troubles.

Maybe look at it this way?

My best friend from high school committed suicide after I was off at college and on the other side of the country.

His remains were cremated, that's all I know. My attempts to get on touch with his physcho mother have failed.

So for me, there's no closure and it really sucks. As painful as visiting a grave site would be, there's something soothing in it too.

My golden of 14 years died earler this year, and I visit her grave maybe twice a week. Not to compare your brother to my pet of course, but you know what I mean. It's as close as I can ever get to her, and even though it means wrestling with emotions I feel like I'm with her in part.

Sh*t. Take care man.

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 3:11 pm

Originally posted by SeedOfChaos
His death was a release from more than two years of suffering

Wow, 2 years!! My bro only lived for 18 days from the day that he was diagnosed, he went quick, which I thank God for cuz I couldn't imagine him suffering for so long, he was so skinny and fragile, it was heartbreaking seeing him like that

If you wanna talk to me, I'm on ICQ (privacy mode).

Sorta defeats the purpose of privacy mode when you tell everyone that you're in it

JK

Thanx peeps for all the kind words, they really mean a lot

SeedOfChaos · Post by **SeedOfChaos** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 3:31 pm

Originally posted by Prey521
Sorta defeats the purpose of privacy mode when you tell everyone that you're in it JK

Well, for one thing, I don't only have SG buddies on my ICQ, but also a LOT of other people... and I don't really care about 100 messages by others if you need someone to talk to bro.

the_mp3_refuge · Post by **the_mp3_refuge** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 5:18 pm

Prey sorry about ur bro man, but go visit him. It's his birthday and I'm sure he would have wanted to have you there. Take ur soon to be wife and let him meet her. I'm no expert on religion or science or any matter that explains why things happen when they do. But I do know that life is full of challenges. Death is one of them. Either on a hospital bed, or sitting next to it Death isn't something easy to deal with. We aren't rememberd by our names, how fast we could get a 1.4Ghz T-bird to go, etc... But rather the accomplishments we do in life... And how they affect others in life. As for crying you're human. We all are. And at sometime or another we all cry. It's natural emotions getting shown for someone we love. I Hope you feel better, and maybe just maybe visit him on his birthday. My heart goes out to Prey.

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 5:51 pm

Don't be bummed.

Where I come from, what you say is actually funny. We celebrate death.

sito · Post by **sito** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:14 pm

Prey, the sooner you go, the better. You've prolly got so much built up inside you, you have no idea until you do it. I fell apart when I finally went to see a dead loved one and was affected for days, but the gigantic mass that was lifted from my shoulders was incredible. You gotta face that fear sooner or later. You might be able to sleep a little better at night.

So sorry bro.

CiscoKid · Post by **CiscoKid** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:23 pm

Originally posted by q2dm1
Don't be bummed.

Where I come from, what you say is actually funny. We celebrate death.

Who is this person? Can we get a mod on him...?

Prey, I'm sorry for your lost. the only way to fullu accetp your brothers loss is to visit the grave site.

Gaming-Module · Post by **Gaming-Module** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:26 pm

My condolences.

My father died 5 years ago.

To this day I have not visited the grave site.

Some people just need to move on and never look back...

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:42 pm

Death makes me feel cold and evil, i'm almost 100% sure i will have little to no reaction or thought, i will mostly miss a parent when i needed somethign i didnt want and really not care otherwise. Be happy that u care for him and dont be shy to admit it to ur woman, she isnt stone cold steve austin.

Chris · Post by **Chris** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:47 pm

Hey Prey, a time will come when you will be able to visit your bro.
Every one of my Dads birthdays I tip a beer to him and give a quiet toast. He loved his beer.....lol
The hardest day I have to deal with is rememberence day, My Dad was a Millitary Bugler, I don't know how many times he blew the Last Post for a Vet. Man that day kills when I hear the Last Post, always brings a tear, even as I type this just thihnkin about it.
It is hard to deal with, but I tell ya When you do visit him, be you.
Hell I've gone a couple times at night with a couple of beers and sat with Dad and had a beer

Just the way he'd want me to remember him.
Just be cool about it, do it your way and no one elses, when the time is right

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:47 pm

Originally posted by q2dm1
Don't be bummed.

Where I come from, what you say is actually funny. We celebrate death.

WhereTF kinda messed up place do you come from? If you're serious about that then thats freakin strange, if you're not serious about that and are just crappin on my thread, then boy do I feel sorry for you.........

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:57 pm

Originally posted by Prey521

WhereTF kinda messed up place do you come from? If you're serious about that then thats freakin strange, if you're not serious about that and are just crappin on my thread, then boy do I feel sorry for you.........

I live in northern Salt Lake City, you?

I believe that death is a beginning. It isn't sad, because the person who is dead, is taking a trip. Are you sad for them, or for yourself? Everything ends. It's all a part of this linear life we lead.

To think otherwise, is to deny the very nature of being human.

My friends and I laugh at funerals. It's great. People are grieving, when really the loss they have, is in their own mind. Memories will always live with us, as long as we can reflect.

For now, your brother is riding on the spiral of the unknown. I feel happy for him, because he's escaped this place of clockwork synchronicity.

Think of it this way. Life is being on the yellow brick road, and when it's time for us to leave this place, we walk through the gates of emerald city.

The unknown is the most attractive prize of all.

Sorry if I offended your ways. To give up selfishness is to give up the world, so I ask you of nothing.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:01 pm

q2, whats ur religon or background, just curious

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:08 pm

You laugh at funerals while other people are grieving? I don't care where you're from, but that's just wrong and shows a total lack of etiquette. If you feel happy when things like that happen then fine, but when other people are grieving you have no right to be laughing. If someone would have laughed at my bro's funeral, I woulda made sure that the next day, it'd be their funeral.

sito · Post by **sito** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:08 pm

Originally posted by q2dm1
Don't be bummed.

Where I come from, what you say is actually funny. We celebrate death.

The post you just made perhaps made your message a bit clearer, but what was up with the first post? How can you say that and just leave it so open ended? IMO your intentions weren't very good ones. And in a thread of this nature, c'mon now.

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:09 pm

Originally posted by YARDofSTUF
q2, whats ur religon or background, just curious

I am not religious.

Religion is something invented by man, to answer questions we'll never be able to answer on our own.

Where did we come from? Why are we here?

Everyone formulated their own reason, and later, they returned to their natural ways, fighting each other... "My God is the real God, yours is fake." etc. etc.

Religion is the antithesis of what it stands for. In general, religions are about keeping peace, love, and having hope, but their real purposes are to divide people into subcategories, and create battle-lines.

The idea of Satan is the equivalent to the idea of religion.

TEH WIN · Post by **TEH WIN** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:11 pm

This doesnt add up. if you arent religious, why did you say this

I believe that death is a beginning. It isn't sad, because the person who is dead, is taking a trip. Are you sad for them, or for yourself? Everything ends. It's all a part of this linear life we lead.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:12 pm

i can agree with that, is there a name for ur beliefs, is this a widespread opinion?

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:15 pm

Originally posted by Prey521
You laugh at funerals while other people are grieving? I don't care where you're from, but that's just wrong and shows a total lack of etiquette. If you feel happy when things like that happen then fine, but when other people are grieving you have no right to be laughing. If someone would have laughed at my bro's funeral, I woulda made sure that the next day, it'd be their funeral.

Listen tough stuff. I didn't intend to offend. If you are, it's both our faults. Mine for even bothering to talk to someone so closed-minded, and yours for caring about what another person thinks.

You misunderstood the "Laughing" part. I'm not laughing at them, as if to poke fun, like some adolescent. I'm laughing for them, and celebrating their time with me. Maybe I'll meet them again. I know about loss. I've had ten people leave me in the past decade, and all were close. Yet, I feel no sorrow, because that would be selfish.

Sure, there is a loss, when someone leaves. It's only natural. And especially if you are close. However, I'm nearly giddy when this happens, because as I was close to them, I can feel great for them, because they are getting their questions answered.

Is this the end? Is it the alpha of my journey? Who knows. No one does until their time comes.

Perhaps it's different for everyone, or perhaps it's oblivion.

Believe in everything, and believe in nothing.

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:15 pm

Originally posted by q2dm1

My friends and I laugh at funerals. It's great. People are grieving, when really the loss they have, is in their own mind. Memories will always live with us, as long as we can reflect.

Sorry if I offended your ways. To give up selfishness is to give up the world, so I ask you of nothing.

Laughing at some else's loss/pain can also be construed as disrespectful to those who do not share your views. It can also appear very offensive.

I thank the members who posted here for holding back on this one...

Mouse

sito · Post by **sito** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:16 pm

Originally posted by q2dm1

I am not religious.

Religion is something invented by man, to answer questions we'll never be able to answer on our own.

Where did we come from? Why are we here?

Everyone formulated their own reason, and later, they returned to their natural ways, fighting each other... "My God is the real God, yours is fake." etc. etc.

Religion is the antithesis of what it stands for. In general, religions are about keeping peace, love, and having hope, but their real purposes are to divide people into subcategories, and create battle-lines.

The idea of Satan is the equivalent to the idea of religion.

He's bored, he has nobody to play with, and he's inconsiderate enough to do it in this thread.
Dude, do you have a conscience? Are you not capable of realizing maybe you should just step away? Are you always right in your own mind?

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:17 pm

Listen tough stuff. I didn't intend to offend. If you are, it's both our faults. Mine for even bothering to talk to someone so closed-minded, and yours for caring about what another person thinks.

You're pushin your luck Q, that's all I'm gonna say, watch it....

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:19 pm

This thread is headed for the crapper, thanks q2dm1. Prey I'm very empathetic to your hurt. Hope it gets better with time, a less acute pain. But I also hope that the loss never goes away, that way you always remeber your brother.

SALVE...its Latin look it up.

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:20 pm

Originally posted by mmc128
This doesnt add up. if you arent religious, why did you say this

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I believe that death is a beginning. It isn't sad, because the person who is dead, is taking a trip. Are you sad for them, or for yourself? Everything ends. It's all a part of this linear life we lead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It adds up perfectly fine. At every end, there is a new start. At the "End" of our life here, we begin a journey. Do we end, or do we begin? That is where the journey will take us.

The big question will be answered.

I am not athiest, and I am not a religious person. I believe in everything, and I believe in nothing. I am certain of all things, and their contrast.

If this conversation is going to continue as some sort of trial on my beliefs, you may proceed, but count me out. Everyone is free to think whatever they think, and nothing is stopping them from doing so. Form your own opinions on life, and spirituality. If you listen to me, it would be just the same, as if you were listening to the Pope shout out orders.

TEH WIN · Post by **TEH WIN** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:23 pm

Ok, you believe that there is something after death, and that is a religious thing.... Yet you arent religious.. this is very interesting.

Ive heard horror stories of how Religion threads upset and led to bannings of people on SG, so i will discontinue my posting in this thread about this topic

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:24 pm

To Q:

Listen, take your New Age crap, or whatever it is and spread it on another thread, just not on this. I don't feel happy about my brothers death, he is in a better place, but I still miss him and wish he were still here. Take your happy beliefs about death elsewhere, thank you very much.

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:26 pm

Originally posted by sitosterol

He's bored, he has nobody to play with, and he's inconsiderate enough to do it in this thread.
Dude, do you have a conscience? Are you not capable of realizing maybe you should just step away? Are you always right in your own mind?

Everyone is right in their own mind. I don't wish to change anyone. However, I saw someone was "A little bummed" and I didn't want that to ruin their environment. So I told that Prey guy to lighten up, and reallize, that hey, you never know... Your bro could be with the stars now. Your bro could be in heaven now. Your bro could be here or there, or doing this or that. The important thing is, be happy for him, remember his life, and cherish the time you had together. Do not grieve, because it is selfish to want. Realize your loss, and move on with your life here on Earth. Maybe one day, you may actually meet your brother again. Hell, maybe everything is exactly like it says in the Bible(s)! Maybe your bro is sippin on Murr and Frankensense... With his mind on his milk and honey, and Milk and Honey on his mind.

You people are way too immature for me to deal with. I'm going back to utilize the hardware forum.

I thought I could waste time at work, here, and meet some cool people. Maybe I was wrong.

No one likes closed minded people.

TEH WIN · Post by **TEH WIN** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:27 pm

Prey I am sorry if i crapped on your thread.

As for you Q, take this somewhere else.. like another website. You signed up 2 days ago, and i believe nobody likes you already. No a very good way to start off

Sorry again Prey

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:29 pm

Originally posted by mmc128
Ok, you believe that there is something after death, and that is a religious thing.... Yet you arent religious.. this is very interesting.

Ive heard horror stories of how Religion threads upset and led to bannings of people on SG, so i will discontinue my posting in this thread about this topic

There IS something after death. An answer. Do you end, or do you continue?

Religion is blind acceptance of a belief. I believe in nothing, and everything. I've said it a hundred times. I do know that in the end we will truly find out what happens.

Please continue posting. I love to talk about religion, and the inconsistancies they produce, but if you can't do that in a rightful way, and start the, "I'm right, you're wrong! I hate you for the way you think!" Garbage, consider me, and hopefully some others out of it.

TEH WIN · Post by **TEH WIN** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:29 pm

Originally posted by q2dm1
I thought I could waste time at work, here, and meet some cool people. Maybe I was wrong.

You can meet very many nice people here. YOU just need to learn not to mock us about our believes and our ways

q2dm1 · Post by **q2dm1** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 8:30 pm

Originally posted by Prey521
Listen, take your New Age crap, or whatever it is and spread it on another thread, just not on this. I don't feel happy about my brothers death, he is in a better place, but I still miss him and wish he were still here. Take your happy beliefs about death elsewhere, thank you very much.

Why would you wish him here? Selfishness. I understand your loss more than anyone could, but Prey... If it's true, if he is in a better place, why would you take that from him?

He could be playing touch football with some planets or something right now. You never know.