Poetry anyone?

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:33 am

In an effort to see how many of us are in touch with our literary side..
I present a composition from my “To Deep for Comfort Happyside/Suicide” series
entitled “She Left” for your approval

........SHE LEFT........

Isolation Confusion and Despair engulf me
..Like to warm a blanket on a mid spring night
Which awakens one near suffocation from the heat
....Yet flung aside for comfort to soon is replaced by the coldRealization reason of her leaving abides within me
......Ice like tremors travel up my frame to a tormented mind
To bitter the thought again I reach for the blanket
........Teetering between stifling heat and the merciless cold
I lay awake
.In the dark
..Alone
...Woefully awaiting the dawn
Hoping with it may come enough warmth of wisdom and understanding
.....To rise once more and face yet another day

Comments or critiques welcome,,
Anyone like to contribute a poem of there own to the cause?

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:44 am

Prey ? is that you ?

JC · Post by JC » Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:34 am

Dan wrote:Prey ? is that you ?

Nah, I think it's his Mother in law

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:20 pm

Tsk Tsk Tsk,, Didn't relise was in such barren desert of literary imagination.

Who would have thought a crass uneducated hillbilly such as myself would emerge to play Milton to a mass of Pee-wee Hermans?

You techno-neards should be ashamed of yourselves, if none can even come up with a limerick beginning with "There once was a PC in Spain" or a rhyme about "Little Jonnie and his Teacher", in the sprit of competition to uphold the honor of geekdom.

Does that PI$$ ya off?
GOOD, now post a verse or two ya pathetic illiterate losers...

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:31 pm

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose *ick was so long he could suck it.

While wiping his chin,
He said with a grin,

"If my ear were a c#nt, I could **** it."

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:34 pm

Wow, I didn't think the editor would let me get away with that much.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:34 pm

Lefty wrote:Wow, I didn't think the editor would let me get away with that much.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:36 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:

I went back and self edited.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:36 pm

Lefty wrote:I went back and self edited.

I was shocked you got away with a C-bomb.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:38 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:I was shocked you got away with a C-bomb.

Me too, I thought it would be taken care of.

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:36 pm

Lefty wrote:There once was a man from Nantucket

Good job Lefty,, You've restored my faith in plagiarism... lol

Kyle · Post by **Kyle** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:38 am

Appreciate the post Goliard, I enjoyed the poem and I like your utilization of punctuation to help set the rhythm, great job! I write some poetry myself but generally reserve it for it's intended audiences.

By the way, welcome to SG... If you want to hang around here you're going to have to learn to ignore some of these jokers...

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:47 am

Goliard wrote:
Who would have thought a crass uneducated hillbilly such as myself would emerge to play Milton to a mass of Pee-wee Hermans?

Dude, that's my shtick. Back off or there will issues.

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:59 am

Kyle wrote:Appreciate the post Goliard, I enjoyed the poem and I like your utilization of punctuation to help set the rhythm, great job! I write some poetry myself but generally reserve it for it's intended audiences.

By the way, welcome to SG... If you want to hang around here you're going to have to learn to ignore some of these jokers...

TY very much for your kind remarks about my poem.
For your welcome to SG.
And for your advice about ignoring the jokers but you'll have to forgive me on that point I get to much fun out of antagonizing them to want to ignore them

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:25 am

brembo wrote:Dude, that's my shtick. Back off or there will issues.

Milton (1608-1674) bonus points +25

Pee Wee Herman reference -25 points.

Dig against brembo...technically he's my bitch.

As far as points...was the gag in place or not?

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:29 am

Humboldt wrote:Milton (1608-1674) bonus points +25

Pee Wee Herman reference -25 points.

Dig against brembo...technically he's my bitch.

As far as points...was the gag in place or not?

Too funny Humbolt, now I see what Bremos comment was all about he thought I was talking about Milton Berle.

The "gag" line gave it away, always heard the unsubstantiated ~until now at least~ rumor that Uncle Miltie leaned that direction.

So in the sprit of as they say "When in Rome,," guess I'll give the traditional dollar to watch, three to film, and five to participate, that they did in Uncle Milties era.
Must admit would be more comfortrable for me though if it were the Milton Twins we were talking about.

Post by **YeOldeStonecat** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:53 am

Goliard wrote:Tsk Tsk Tsk,, Didn't relise was in such barren desert of literary imagination.

Does that PI$$ ya off?
GOOD, now post a verse or two ya pathetic illiterate losers...

Always had a chuckle at a shortie by William Carlos Williams. Back in school we had to read our favorite poem in front of the class. I found this short one...chuckled at it...apparently my English professor found it amusing to as he started cracking up after I read it.

"The Red Wheelbarrow"
by William Carlos Williams
********************
so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:32 am

YeOldeStonecat wrote: "The Red Wheelbarrow"
by William Carlos Williams
********************

Makes ya wonder what Carlos was smokeing at the time.

David · Post by **David** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:50 am

Is there an error in the second line?

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:02 pm

David wrote:Is there an error in the second line?

~damn the luck outed by a moderator~

David · Post by **David** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:51 pm

Goliard wrote:~damn the luck outed by a moderator~

Is there a re-write for said metaphor. Hopefully, a better future after the pain of her loss abates.

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:23 pm

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You are all crazy
This, I know to be true

Smoke that

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:48 pm

When we were dating
I always got head
but ever since we got married
I must masturbate instead

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:02 pm

JBrazen wrote:When we were dating
I always got head
but ever since we got married
I must masturbate instead

Oh you poor thing!

Indy · Post by **Indy** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:09 pm

A poet I'm not
So instead I'll scribble here
a blasé haiku

Jamie_R · Post by **Jamie_R** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:19 am

Gixxer · Post by **Gixxer** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:05 pm

JBrazen wrote:When we were dating
I always got head
but ever since we got married
I must masturbate instead

Goliard · Post by **Goliard** » Sun Jul 06, 2008 3:50 pm

David wrote:Is there a re-write for said metaphor. Hopefully, a better future after the pain of her loss abates.

Afraid not on to particular poem Dave, that verse is from the Suicide chapter of the series, the upbeat ones are in the Happyside one.
~could post one of those for you if you like~

Debbie a lil help Plz, haveing trouble with your request,,

"

Smoke that

"

Which end do I light???
The one on the left is to wet and the one on the right won't hold still long enough