Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a
good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These past two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all your
soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came
to my mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago!
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that MY
SISTER had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to
Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a
reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the
letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I
hope that's not a problem!
.
The divorce
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YARDofSTUF
- Posts: 70006
- Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2000 12:00 am
- Location: USA
Great, now you gave him 100's more stupid threads.Burke wrote:http://www.divorcehq.com/humor.html
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blacklab
- Senior Member
- Posts: 3006
- Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2000 12:00 am
- Location: Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada
It is obvious that you did not read:Gixxer wrote:what is it with you and the pro-woman or the woman gets the last laugh jokes?
What women want
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blacklab
- Senior Member
- Posts: 3006
- Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2000 12:00 am
- Location: Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada
Well Comtrad I am sorry about that, but I don't/can't spend most of my time on line reading jokes or cruising form like a lot of you do. Some have to really work.Comtrad wrote:It's also funny that every joke almost everyone has seen over and over and over.
If you don't want me to post jokes why not put up a poll and if that is what most want I will abide by it.
Your reply is as old as the jokes are.blacklab wrote:Well Comtrad I am sorry about that, but I don't/can't spend most of my time on line reading jokes or cruising form like a lot of you do. Some have to really work.
If you don't want me to post jokes why not put up a poll and if that is what most want I will abide by it.
"Sorry I'm not messing around on this here interweb all day, some people actually have a job, lolz."
The simple fact is this: before you post a joke you think is fresh, do a search first. After you've confirmed it's not been posted in the past 3 years, go ahead and not post it anyway. Just to be safe.
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SeedOfChaos
- Posts: 8651
- Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2000 12:00 am
- Location: Comfortably Numb
How about you guys just not click on these threads if you risk a heart attack over it?
I mean, there's the neat feature that if you hover your mouse over the thread title in the list, you get a tooltip showing you the first bit of the thread. It's clear that it's a joke thread from that alone. Why did you click on it?
Come on, blacklab is a good guy and there's no need to jump him over this, is there?
I mean, there's the neat feature that if you hover your mouse over the thread title in the list, you get a tooltip showing you the first bit of the thread. It's clear that it's a joke thread from that alone. Why did you click on it?
Come on, blacklab is a good guy and there's no need to jump him over this, is there?
ex-WoW-addict
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blacklab
- Senior Member
- Posts: 3006
- Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2000 12:00 am
- Location: Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada
Thanks for the support, but these guys just do it to increase their post counts, I mean look at how many Burk or YARD have compared to me.SeedOfChaos wrote:How about you guys just not click on these threads if you risk a heart attack over it?
I mean, there's the neat feature that if you hover your mouse over the thread title in the list, you get a tooltip showing you the first bit of the thread. It's clear that it's a joke thread from that alone. Why did you click on it?
Come on, blacklab is a good guy and there's no need to jump him over this, is there?
One day they are liable to get CRAFT disease as well and then old things will seem new.
I don't do a search because there are many new viewers who haven't seen many of the jokes and they should not be deprived, and once in a while I do come up with a new one. I think people have to realize this form is a good place to visit and we are not always romping on each other.
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Mrs RoundEye
- SG VIP
- Posts: 21760
- Joined: Sat Jun 29, 2002 4:34 pm
- Location: New Orleans