I'm a suspicious person it seems...

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:08 pm

I'm learning that after my divorce and what/how it happened I'm now suspicious of things in my current relationship. This sucks....it sucks cuz I really don't have a reason to be suspicious, but I am. I'm jealous too apprently and I'm just not sure how to deal with this.

Any suggestions?

9mmprincess · Post by **9mmprincess** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:16 pm

I know it's not easy, but you have to just let go and trust her. Trust her until and unless there's a real reason to be suspicious. In that case, if she IS cheating, then she's the one who's wrong, not you. But yeah.. you have to just let it go..and realize that being uber suspcious and questioning her a lot or whatever isn't going to stop her from cheating if she really is anyway..so it's pointless. Let go, trust her, and give her a chance to show you she's not like your ex wife. If you want it to work, you've got to trust her.

Good luck

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:16 pm

Normally I would say that it will go away with time... and experience. I can say that because I've been there and have the experience. Has to do with confidence as well. If you are unsure, then doubt will always be an option and with doubt comes insecurity.

*takes another shot of Vodka and checks out new sheep in the pasture*

Post by **YeOldeStonecat** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:43 pm

I can identify with you Jason...as we get older, and as we accumulate failed prior relationships..we (often unwittingly, without knowing it) carry a..hmmm....guess I can say fear or paranoia along with us into new relationships...of things that failed in the past.

My current girlfriend and I....both have these things. We call them "triggers". Something can happen that one person does..it can remind the other person of someone that their ex did..and can cause problems. The reaction can be done without even knowing it...

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:55 pm

YeOldeStonecat wrote:My current girlfriend and I....

I thought you were going to keep "us" a secret? We will talk very soon about this!!!!!

Roody · Post by **Roody** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 2:38 pm

Tough break man.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:00 pm

MadDoctor wrote:I thought you were going to keep "us" a secret? We will talk very soon about this!!!!!

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:07 pm

If you are in a relationship already my advice will be late. The only thing I could give for advice would be don't jump into a relationship right off the rebound, it takes time to heal inside and get ready to trust and offer someone all you should offer them. Too many times people jump into a new relationship before they are ready and it hurts the new relationship. For a relationship of over 5 years it may take a whole year to get over it. In the long run it will make for better relationships.

If you are in a relationship already than talk to her and let her know, communications (lack of) is the #1 reason for problems in a relationship.

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:15 pm

All good advice is given here.

One year is good enough time Lefty.

As for me, it just took longer.

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:16 pm

Thanks guys

It's been over a year since things have been final, with her I felt it was safe to make it a relationship..not so with other girls I had dated.
We had a discussion last night because of a comment I made and from now on I need to check my jealousy and whatever else at the door. She hasn't given me any reason to question anything and that's how I need to act towards the relationship. After the talk I got her naked so everything's good

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:19 pm

Keg Party wrote:After the talk I got her naked so everything's good

Men!!! Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!!!!!

Communication is key.

Awareness is key.

Keep that in mind and you will be fine.