A Young Suicide

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 1:54 pm

I just received a call from one of our cancer patients, whom I worked with and still do support with phone contact, that her youngest daughter has committed suicide, apparantly late last night sometime. She found her this morning...when going in her room to wake her for school.

This has been an extremely troubled family, and even more so when the Mom was discovered to have breast cancer. The husband said all along that if the wife had to have a breast removed...that he would be outta there. Nice support, eh? Yes..thats a bit of anger coming out on my part.

Her case was so involved...that...that was the only alternative, if she stood a chance at all of recovery...and God love her for the strength she showed...she had that done.

He moved out for a bit...she was left struggling emotionally...basically all on her own...with a couple of exceptions.

He then moved back in, raised all kinds of hell...then back out a couple of days ago.

A suicide note was found...and it said...I can't stand Daddy being mad...nor you hurting so much Mom...I love you...goodbye

I feel there MUST have been something else I could have done...or something I missed seeing...that could have prevented this..or seen it coming...or something. This child was only 13 years old...she had not yet even begun to live

mountainman · Post by **mountainman** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:01 pm

That's a huge bummer. I know a couple people who've committed suicide, one being a cousin.

Don't beat yourself up over it. You are doing a great service.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:03 pm

Don't blame yourself Misty. There is no way you could have known what was going to happen. She will need support more than ever. A parent is not supposed to bury their child.

I don't ever want to know that feeling of having to lay to rest my child.

Forgetful · Post by **Forgetful** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:09 pm

No fault or blame can be attached to you Tink. The failure is obvious for all to see, it's 100% the father's.

Roody · Post by **Roody** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:10 pm

I am sorry you have to go through this. Hang in there.

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:20 pm

Lefty wrote:Don't blame yourself Misty. There is no way you could have known what was going to happen. She will need support more than ever.

I agree! It is not your fault at all.

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:44 pm

You guys are so wonderful with support...and I thank you all so very much. My thoughts now are...am I so involved with my own health issues, that I missed something there with their case, that I could have been so much better at..or seen more? Too involved..too self centered with my own issues? I pray not. She has called twice since my posting here...and God give me the strength please to help her through this, and or see ways to help her....she is a wonderful person...and a total delight. She NEEDS all the support she can get...what I see happening now...is the posibility..that she blames herself for her daughters death.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:29 pm

You can make the world a better place but you can't make it perfect.

Could the woman get a shittier deal in life? Cancer must seem like nothing in comparision.

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:38 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:You can make the world a better place but you can't make it perfect.

Could the woman get a shittier deal in life? Cancer must seem like nothing in comparision.

Thanks for the response. I doubt that she could...in fact, and maybe..the outcome of this problem may indeed improve hers. But...lets keep trying to make this world a better place!!!..and maybe wake up a few people in the meantime

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:47 pm

I think another part of my problem here...has to deal with past history...and what it took me to get though it and past it...was not only physical abuse...but mental abuse, in my choices of partners..etc..so I feel and know what she is going through and dealing with...the only "ifs"...I had done better..been a better partner..looked better..pleased you more..made you happy. We are only reponsible for our actions...no one elses...nor how they choose to deal with a particular situation. This is a woman who has dealt with both emotional and physical abuse...it's only when you can touch that person...and make them believe...it is NOT their fault..and that they are NOT responsible for anothers actions..that it can work. Please...send up a prayer for her...she is not strong at this point..and I feel she might be next

tHE_0ne · Post by **tHE_0ne** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:15 pm

wow what a sad story

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:33 pm

How sad

poor girl, that must've really torn her up.

As was pointed out, you're doing what you can, don't beat yourself up over things beyond your control. Take care of yourself.

Hopefully the father will get hit by a bus or large truck ASAP and the mother will make a full recovery

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:14 pm

Lefty wrote:Don't blame yourself Misty. There is no way you could have known what was going to happen. She will need support more than ever. A parent is not supposed to bury their child. I don't ever want to know that feeling of having to lay to rest my child.

That sums it up.

What a terrible story.

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 6:37 pm

And a special thank you to you Forgetful..I do know you post not very often..Hugzzz!!

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:37 pm

What an even more tragic ending to this story. I was speaking to her on the phone...for the third time in less than an hour...listening to her cry...and trying so hard to be of help to her...I heard her scream...and please ask..NOOOO!!! then I heard a clear distinct gun shot. I was also in contact with the police department at the same time...part of the connection with having to do with the hot line...and sending help..when it is needed...Once again..I was too late..the JERK shot her...while we were talking

Now we have 2 horrible tragic losses

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:48 pm

I am so sorry.

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 9:10 pm

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:37 pm

Shinobi · Post by **Shinobi** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 12:38 am

MissTynker2 wrote:What an even more tragic ending to this story. I was speaking to her on the phone...for the third time in less than an hour...listening to her cry...and trying so hard to be of help to her...I heard her scream...and please ask..NOOOO!!! then I heard a clear distinct gun shot. I was also in contact with the police department at the same time...part of the connection with having to do with the hot line...and sending help..when it is needed...Once again..I was too late..the JERK shot her...while we were talking Now we have 2 horrible tragic losses

I am so sorry..

God Bless them.

Jamie_R · Post by **Jamie_R** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:39 am

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 8:52 am

There truely is a God after all. She surivived the gunshot wound. I just got home from the hospital, and the father is of course in jail where he should be. An extremely high bail was set, so I doubt he will be on the streets before the trial. The paramedics got to her quickly, and performed cpr on her to get her heart started again, they still gave her little chance...but she made it!!!!

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:27 am

great news!

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:29 am

MissTynker2 wrote:There truely is a God after all. She surivived the gunshot wound. I just got home from the hospital, and the father is of course in jail where he should be. An extremely high bail was set, so I doubt he will be on the streets before the trial. The paramedics got to her quickly, and performed cpr on her to get her heart started again, they still gave her little chance...but she made it!!!!

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:23 pm

Update

She has officially been taken off the critical list, but will remain in icu until at least tomorrow morning for monitoring purposes. The bullet just barely grazed her heart, which is what they believe stopped her heart. Her brain waves are excellent however, showing no sign of brain damage whatsoever. They are keeping her quite heavily sedated at this point, and I think that is a good thing...I cannot imagine the horror she still has to face when she is revived. Please send some extra prayers up for her. She is gonna need all the help and support she can get!! She IS a fighter!!

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:28 pm

Great news.

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:30 pm

I hate to be a doubting Thomas but I suppose the future is going to tell if this was really good news or not.

It's just a tragic story.

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 8:29 pm

downhill wrote:I hate to be a doubting Thomas but I suppose the future is going to tell if this was really good news or not.

It's just a tragic story.

Truely, I do understand your meaning here. She is now out of intensive care, and on the general floor. They have her pretty groggy, but both the physical and the mental anguish is quite apparant...at first she did not remember what had happened. It's gonna be a tough haul. A woman who has so valiantly fought for every breath of life, may now for awhile at least be wondering why. She is a miracle in her own right, and I pray the powers that be will take away this grief as quickly as possible.