by Liberty Fitz-Claridge
I am the very model of a modern libertarian;
I'm at the Diamond's farthest corner from 'Authoritarian'.
I'm of the view, in short, that we should do away with all the laws,
Except the ones that thwart the sort who'd harm or take my things by force.
The socialists demand that we ought really to redistribute
The money made by businessmen to help support the destitute.
But those of us who set less store by looting than by Liberty
Would say a man's well-being is his own responsibility!
Would say a man's well-being is his own responsibility,
Would say a man's well-being is his own responsibility,
Would say a man's well-being is his own responsibili-bili-ty!
Ideas which stem from this include that school is not compulsory.
When older, children may attend free-market university.
In short, it is the opposite of life totalitarian,
With free adults and children in a climate libertarian.
In short, it is the opposite of life totalitarian,
With free adults and children in a climate libertarian.
The hoi polloi have rolled their eyes and left us to obscurity,
Since fans of David Friedman cry, "The state, the state is after me."
Indeed, there are among us those who dream of a utopia.
For this they are thought madmen, though it's only hyperopia.
We liberals won't rest until all state-run works are privatised;
From ports to courts, from wealth to health, we want the state to be downsized.
These things are not done well by even loving, caring government;
It loves us at our own expense - and what when all that love is spent?
It loves us at our own expense - and what when all that love is spent?
It loves us at our own expense - and what when all that love is spent?
It loves us at our own expense - and what when all that love-is love-is spent?
And surely no one's worthy of the job of politician
Who does not see the value of untrammelled competition.
In short, you should repudiate the crude authoritarian
And study to become a far superior libertarian.
In short, I should repudiate the crude authoritarian
And study to become a far superior libertarian.
When I have read von Mises' massive tomes from end to end firsthand;
When I've the nerve to voice in English classes that I like Ayn Rand;
When I have studied economics and gone earnestly to FEE;
When I have learnt what progress has been made in private law theory ...
When I've read Hayek, Mill and Smith, my expertise evincible;
And when I know exactly what is meant by 'homestead principle';
In short, when I know politics and all the right philosophy,
You'll say a better libertarian there never was than me.
You'll say a better libertarian there never was than she,
You'll say a better libertarian there never was than she,
You'll say a better libertarian there never was-than was-than she!
Though mainstream folk are loath to recognize or even tolerate
These vital, timeless principles that libertarians venerate,
And though the ignorant consensus is authoritarian,
I am the very model of a modern libertarian.
And though the ignorant consensus is authoritarian,
She is the very model of a modern libertarian.
