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Stories from Travel Agents:
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I had someone ask for an aisle seat on the plane so that her
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
--
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
--
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make HER look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
Africa." Her response; . . . click.
--
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a
very thin state."
--
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so
close on the map."
--
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour
lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a
car to drive between the gates to save time."
--
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into
Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of
time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and
she bought that!
--
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to
which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none
of these darn planes have numbers on them.
--
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of
those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to
Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
--
A man called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't,
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay definitely
required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been
to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express."
--
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago
to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent asks: "Are you sure that's the name of the
town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh
don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew
it was a big animal!"
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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
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Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
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Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
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Good: Your son's finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
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Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections
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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
But it uses up a thousand times the memory
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Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do.
And they're a lot better than the penalty for murder.
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Who was the best Financier in the Bible?
Noah.
He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.
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Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night. Hillary wakes up
and starts shaking Bill to wake him up.
"Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill stays sleeping. Hillary continues,
"Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?"
Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom."
Bill says,
"Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom."
"No,
I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."
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The Meek shall inherit the earth.
Right after we're through with it.
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Ho Ho Ho
minir
