Help me write my 2 weeks notice!

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YARDofSTUF
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Help me write my 2 weeks notice!

Post by YARDofSTUF »

I'm going back to school and my boss wont change my hours so I'm quitting. Hate the job anyway, so its an added bonus to going back to school.

Looking for an interesting way to write it, maybe poem or script form? I dunno, looking for some ideas.
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minir
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Post by minir »

Roses are red, violets are blue & in 2 weeks there will be nobody here but you. :D
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Prey521
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Post by Prey521 »

minir wrote:Roses are red, violets are blue & in 2 weeks there will be nobody here but you. :D
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one Minir! :rotfl:

Just tell him that you're quitting because you want to attend school full time.
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RoscoPColtrane
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Post by RoscoPColtrane »

I would just type out a professional type letter. i did that when i quit all my other jobs. Usual tell them you appriciate the oportunity they gave you and all that jazz. NEVER burn your bridges man! :D
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YARDofSTUF
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

I'll go homeless before going back, but I will be professional and type out a letter I just want it to be interesting, not mean just entertaining to read.
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Post by Lefty »

http://jobsearchtech.about.com/od/resig ... nation.htm

half way down the page they have some in .rtf format you can use.
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downhill
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Post by downhill »

To who it might concern.

I'm giving you notice that in two weeks time, my employment here, will come to an end.

I wish to convey that it's nothing the company has or has not done but I wish to continue my education for the betterment of myself.

I wish to own this company and I can't do that by working here. I'll need a lot better job.

So long and thanks for all the fish.
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You will have to edit for your own situation

Post by Lefty »

Dear Mr. Smith,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia
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Post by Lefty »

Subject: Letter of Resignation
Date: Wednesday, May 29, 1996 9:56AM

It is with great sorrow that I must tender my resignation. As of 4:30 pm on
June 21st, I will no longer be an employee of this great company. Although
the time I have worked here has expanded my horizons, I feel it is time to
move on. I undertake this with sincere regret.

When I graduate from medical school (and even if I don't), I would feel
honored to have all of my former fellow coworkers come in for either a free
breast, prostate or rectal exam. Prevention is the best medicine.

I will miss you all. God bless you.
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wee96
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Post by wee96 »

Just tell them in person, you dont need to write a letter :rotfl:
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Post by Jamie_R »

[quote="Lefty"]Dear Mr. Smith,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please]


:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I may have to save that one for future use :D
.

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Post by YeOldeStonecat »

I'd certainly put it in writing, it's good to do that, for future reasons. And...I'd certainly include the reason that they won't budge on your schedule because you want to go to school. Make a note that you'd like to continue working there if possible, but you must make school a priority.
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Post by CableDude »

Should I offer my 2 ¢ here? :D
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Post by Izzo »

YeOldeStonecat wrote:I'd certainly put it in writing, it's good to do that, for future reasons. And...I'd certainly include the reason that they won't budge on your schedule because you want to go to school. Make a note that you'd like to continue working there if possible, but you must make school a priority.

Absolutely put it in writing. Being a former Citi employee....... a company will not hesitate to screw you without thinking twice.
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Post by Zilog B »

There once was an employee from Nantuckett
He thought about going to work, but said **** it!


Regards, YOS
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Post by knightmare »

Due to my constant posting at SG, and unrentless upgrading of my computer, this job, which is my world, must take a backseat to the above described......
“"A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer."”

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Post by CableDude »

What are you going to school for YOS?
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Post by Sarahnn »

YARDofSTUF wrote:I'm going back to school and my boss wont change my hours so I'm quitting. Hate the job anyway, so its an added bonus to going back to school.

Looking for an interesting way to write it, maybe poem or script form? I dunno, looking for some ideas.
I think I understand what yer trying to say here.

Letter of Appreciation:

To whom it may concern,

Recently I requested my work hours be changed so that I could continue to work here and attend my regularly scheduled classes at (insert school here).

I was denied any consideration for the change in work schedule. Due to this decision I will be able to attend classes and free myself from the restraints of this place.

I would therefore like to express my extreme gratitude. If you had changed my hours, I would be coming back here and of course, we both know, there is no future here. I guess you knew that and was lookin out for my best interest.

Yours truly,

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Or you could say:

Dear (fill in the blank)

Since you will not change my work hours, I asked my school if they would change their class hours to fit your businesses schedule and after they got up from the floor where they were all rolling around laughing their guts out, they said it would not be possible.

Therefore, I am hereby submitting my 20 minute notice.

Yours truly,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Gixxer
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Post by Gixxer »

hey,

i quit.


short and to the point.
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Post by nightowl »

MS office has lots of templates for this actualy
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Sava700
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Post by Sava700 »

Since my company is shutting down alot of people have been comming in with very short papers saying pretty much "I whoever am now giving a 2weeks notice as of this date" They sign it and thats it.. you don't need to put on there why but you can I guess if you like..
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Post by CableDude »

Sarahnn wrote:I think I understand what yer trying to say here.

Letter of Appreciation:

To whom it may concern,

Recently I requested my work hours be changed so that I could continue to work here and attend my regularly scheduled classes at (insert school here).

I was denied any consideration for the change in work schedule. Due to this decision I will be able to attend classes and free myself from the restraints of this place.

I would therefore like to express my extreme gratitude. If you had changed my hours, I would be coming back here and of course, we both know, there is no future here. I guess you knew that and was lookin out for my best interest.

Yours truly,

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Or you could say:

Dear (fill in the blank)

Since you will not change my work hours, I asked my school if they would change their class hours to fit your businesses schedule and after they got up from the floor where they were all rolling around laughing their guts out, they said it would not be possible.

Therefore, I am hereby submitting my 20 minute notice.

Yours truly,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Win
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Randy
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Post by Randy »

work proffesional qwit like a proffessional/ do everything proffesional and you will be a proffesional. If thats too much then just take a dump on his desk and put a lil flag in it that says I QWIT

I was going to post a link to that thread, but the SG search results for "bullsh|t" were too numerous

sometimes you have to think outside the box to get inside the box ;).
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Cabledude wrote:What are you going to school for YOS?

Computer networking

A+
Security+
MCP 270 something for winXP
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Post by CableDude »

YARDofSTUF wrote:Computer networking

A+
Security+
MCP 270 something for winXP
Good luck with that.
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YARDofSTUF
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Zilog B wrote:There once was an employee from Nantuckett
He thought about going to work, but said **** it!


Regards, YOS
:rotfl:
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YARDofSTUF
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Cabledude wrote:Good luck with that.

Dont hate me cuz I wont get win98 certified!
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Post by CableDude »

YARDofSTUF wrote:Dont hate me cuz I wont get win98 certified!
I won't :)
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Here's quickie #1
Dear Kirk, Tim, Candy, and anyone else that is reading over your shoulders,


I, Alan happily inform you that I will be leaving the company for better things. Though I have wanted to stay in order to see the engineering standard get harder, the DPMO get stricter, and the removal of all sick time from employees, I no longer have the time to waste here.

Its time to once again live during the day instead of hiding in the night, sit comfortably in a chair instead of running through isles looking for a location tag that is not there, and most importantly I must learn how to sleep once again!

Over the last 4 years I have been quite lazy about gettign back into school, but I am now enrolled at Porter and Chester and my work schedule, and job will interfere with this. Therefore I must leave this magical land in hopes of finding a better wizard.
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Ken
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Post by Ken »

Yardy,
Wear your pants backwards on your last day, go into the bosses office, unzip them and tell him to kiss your arse... :D

OR

Tell him it was real, and it was fun, but it wasn't real fun... :D


Seriously, never burn bridges... The others have put you on the righteousness. I could put you on a path...just not sure if it is where you would want to go... :D
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Post by poptom »

wee96 wrote:Just tell them in person, you dont need to write a letter :rotfl:
There should be a letter or memo in his file showing that he left of his own volition.
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Post by Croc »

Maybe this'll do.
Rule #1. Don't burn bridges.





Dear (insert name here),

It is with a degree of regret that I tender my resignation as (insert job title) effective (insert date of last day) from (insert company name).

The reason for this action is to further my education. I am currently unable to complete my education due to an apparent innability for compromise on my hours of work.

I have enjoyed my time here and should you see an opportunity to implement compromise, I would be more than happy to discuss withdrawing this resignation.

Yours faithfully,

YoS

cc: file.
cc: to someone in management other than the person you don't get along with.
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YARDofSTUF
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Tonight I find out if I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice tommorrow night or a week later, gotta see if I can get a few days off I need.


Anyone got any good Shakespear quotes or somethign that I could stick in there? LOL
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Post by Meggie »

YARDofSTUF wrote:Tonight I find out if I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice tommorrow night or a week later, gotta see if I can get a few days off I need.


Anyone got any good Shakespear quotes or somethign that I could stick in there? LOL
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YARDofSTUF
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Meggie wrote:"to stay or not to stay... that is not the question"

I didnt ask you to bastardize shakespear... :p
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Post by Meggie »

YARDofSTUF wrote:I didnt ask you to bastardize shakespear... :p
:p a dumb question deserves a dumb answer
brembo wrote:"This is a stick-up...I have an armadillo in my pants"
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YARDofSTUF
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Meggie wrote: :p a dumb question deserves a dumb answer
Fine, google will help me :)
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Post by Meggie »

YARDofSTUF wrote:Fine, google will help me :)
but will it drive u to old navy? :D
brembo wrote:"This is a stick-up...I have an armadillo in my pants"
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Post by YARDofSTUF »

Meggie wrote:but will it drive u to old navy? :D

No, but it will give me directions :D
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Post by Randy »

YARDofSTUF wrote:Here's quickie #1 Dear Kirk, Tim, Candy, and anyone else that is reading over your shoulders,


I, Alan happily inform you that I will be leaving the company for better things. Though I have wanted to stay in order to see the engineering standard get harder, the DPMO get stricter, and the removal of all sick time from employees, I no longer have the time to waste here.

Its time to once again live during the day instead of hiding in the night, sit comfortably in a chair instead of running through isles looking for a location tag that is not there, and most importantly I must learn how to sleep once again!

Over the last 4 years I have been quite lazy about gettign back into school, but I am now enrolled at Porter and Chester and my work schedule, and job will interfere with this. Therefore I must leave this magical land in hopes of finding a better wizard.
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man thats horrible!

I was going to post a link to that thread, but the SG search results for "bullsh|t" were too numerous

sometimes you have to think outside the box to get inside the box ;).
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