SG Broadband Community

I am currently in the middle of a career change and had to take a lie detector yesterday. I get there and the guy that is going to administer the test is a complete no nonsense type of guy. Does not even crack a smile for the whole hour that I am there. In his office he is displaying all sorts of awards and accreditdations from even the CIA and FBI. So I am sitting there just about crapping my pants while he is getting the test ready. I have already filled out a questonnaire of about 150 questions the actual test questions will be sample from that. The questions range from have I ever cheated to committing a serious crime such as murder or robbery. And of course the drug questions. I am not sure if anyone here has seen the movie Harsh Times, where the guy is taking the test and stiffens his sphincter during the test to throw off the results. Well, here there was even a pressure pad on the seat where I was sitting to detect such a thing. This guy knew exactly what he was doing.

I consider myself to be a pretty honest and straightforward guy, but I did feel like a criminal sitting there. I even had to sign a statement that read very similar to the standard Miranda Rights, ya know, right before they start to ask you where you were last Tuesday at 1:15am? It was the most tension filled and stressful thing I think I ever had to do. I got an email several hours later from HR saying that I had passed and the next process is about to begin. It was a relief because I know that lie detectors are not completely accurate and greatly depend on the person that is administering the test.

Normally I'm not that serious when I give a test. You caught me on an off day.

what kind of job ?

dan217 wrote:there was even a pressure pad on the seat where I was sitting to detect such a thing.

I had to toss that pad. Big pucker mark right in the middle.

MadDoctor wrote:I had to toss that pad. Big pucker mark right in the middle.

couldn't you just clench your ass before you sat down and just held it ?

The job is in law enforcement. So the next step is that they do the complete background check and have to come out and interview my neighbors.

And MadDoctor if that was really you, I have some advice and questions. 1. Dont wear a brown belt with black pants. 2. How the heck did you get that comb over to work with your mullet? 3. Why did you sniff the pad when I got up?

dan217 wrote:3. Why did you sniff the pad when I got up?

Standard procedure. I learn a lot about the person from sniffing the pad.

dan217 wrote:The job is in law enforcement. So the next step is that they do the complete background check and have to come out and interview my neighbors.

And MadDoctor if that was really you, I have some advice and questions. 1. Dont wear a brown belt with black pants. 2. How the heck did you get that comb over to work with your mullet? 3. Why did you sniff the pad when I got up?

One might say MadDoc is a baaaaaaad boy.

I went through a few of those tests years ago in my quest for the badge. Yeah can make you feel nervous...just remember...pretty much everyone else feels just as nervous.

Many theories out there on how you can beat them...just remember...peoples bodies are different. Yeah a few people can probably beat them...but others..no matter what you do..can't.

I remember cracking up at one question tossed at me.."Do you get turned on by fire?" I said.."Yeah...if I'm on a bear skin carpet..sipping wine with a cute lady...crackling fireplace...it's quite a turn on! "

YeOldeStonecat wrote:I remember cracking up at one question tossed at me.."Do you get turned on by fire?" I said.."Yeah...if I'm on a bear skin carpet..sipping wine with a cute lady...crackling fireplace...it's quite a turn on! "

Yes or no answer please.

MadDoctor wrote:

Yes or no answer please.

I'm a complicated guy!

Izzo wrote:couldn't you just clench your ass before you sat down and just held it ?

That's a looooooooong time to clench your ass. Try to clench your ass for 5 years in a federal lockup.

I got the question about the fire as well. That was on the questionnaire, but it was not one of the questions that I was tested on. YEOLD, are you in law enforcement?

dan217 wrote:I got the question about the fire as well. That was on the questionnaire, but it was not one of the questions that I was tested on. YEOLD, are you in law enforcement?

I was...did part time in local town for a while...also did a lot of training/helped out with a private company that went around teaching PD's and security staff some classes..MOAB, CAS baton, restraint techniques, OCAT, PR-24, etc. Local PD put me through Block 1 of training at the academy...back then it was 5x blocks if you went part time..I think it's only 3x now.

YeOldeStonecat wrote:I was

So that's why you had those handcuffs when I saw you awhile back. Poor Philip. Not sure he will ever be the same.

dan217 wrote:The job is in law enforcement. So the next step is that they do the complete background check and have to come out and interview my neighbors.

That sounds more like a Federal Job.

Shinobi wrote:That sounds more like a Federal Job.

Local town PDs also do that.

Shinobi wrote:That sounds more like a Federal Job.

Many local town PDs also do that.

YeOldeStonecat wrote:I was...did part time in local town for a while...also did a lot of training/helped out with a private company that went around teaching PD's and security staff some classes..MOAB, CAS baton, restraint techniques, OCAT, PR-24, etc. Local PD put me through Block 1 of training at the academy...back then it was 5x blocks if you went part time..I think it's only 3x now.

<<<<<<<< reminds self to speak softy to Scat! Purrrrrrrrrr!

If you ever went through the process of aquiring your TS clearance it's pretty much the same dealio. My sister who works for the NSA called after the men in black showed up at her work asking questions about me. She said, "What the hell did you do?"

Did the setup look like this?

Joint Chiefs of Staff wrote:If you ever went through the process of aquiring your TS clearance it's pretty much the same dealio. My sister who works for the NSA called after the men in black showed up at her work asking questions about me. She said, "What the hell did you do?"

Did the setup look like this?

Heh, I remember when I got my TS clearance. Unfortunate thing is, tho, the guy who did the interview was one of the federal agents killed in the Oklahoma City Bombing...

If we want the truth from you... we'll beat it out of you.

I thought you told us what the truth was.

The setup in the picture was exactly like that. Guy had a laptop and there was a pressure cuff, two sensors on my right hand and two straps going around my body. He told me to stare straight ahead at all times. What sort of scared me is that we had to do the test three times. And on the last test he said that this should be the last one if we don't get any significant jumps or movements.

For those who wanted to know. This is for the Sheriff's office in my county.

tarpoon75 wrote:I thought you told us what the truth was.

It changes on a daily basis.