SG Broadband Community

Post your favorite funny quotes people...

Please keep it to 3 quotes per post.....


anyways here's a couple of my favs

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Maria Carey.

"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Herm Albright.

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."
Stephen King

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer"
-Robert Frost

"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk"
-Thomas Edison (smilies are mine, not Mr. Edison's)

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
-Ronald Reagan

Originally posted by Noevo
"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk"
-Noevo

Since there's no way I could reduce my favorites down to three, I'll stick with Steven Wright.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Half the people you know are below average.

Well, if we have to keep them down to three, how about some quotes from the three most popular CA religios denominations

"There is only one Software God and Linus Torvalds is his prophet"
"Open Source == Communism"
"Thou shalt fall on thy knees and worship the one true SUN God"

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

My all time favorite #1

1. "A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."
Chrétien 2002

2. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with.
--Rodney Dangerfield

3. A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
--Robert Frost

"Why make repremands with an enemy when it takes just as long to gain two friends?"