SG Broadband Community

I was no where near all this. I was somewhere else and I have
two witnesses who can collaborate my whereabouts.

Hmmm this book is interesting to say the least It describes MANY trysts between the inhabitants of the island that Ken mentioned. For instace, it tells of a tryst between Kip, Lobo, and Norm. It seems that one night while enjoying each others company there was a "spill". And from it arose John. Another tale mentions a horrid meeting on the beach between Hell_Yess and TonyT where the end result is Messiah. From what I can tell Messiah and John got together one night and from them Nightowl was born. I'm tellin' ya, this is one messed up bunch.

Anyway, to the guts of the story...

Theres a section the describes how minir came to be. There appears to have been a somewhat secret location on the island where these folks like to go by themselves or in pairs

Apparently Nightowl had a reputation for some incredible cave drawings of "heavenly bodies" there. As you can imagine, near this place, forever known as Speedguide, the devoloped a horrifically potent pool of genes and DNA. This pool was full of everyone, so to speak. A little bit of mouse, a smidgin of Kip, a smattering of Hell_Yes, and a tiny bit of TonyT. All the others had "left their mark" there as well. Lobo especially had a high number of "visits". The book tells of a night that all the inhabitants gathered at this place to discuss some politics and religion. A highly intense debate ensued. Sparks flew, more DNA was spilled. It evens tells of the possibility that some monkey genes were spilled into the pool. After things died down and they all retreated to their caves for the night a lone spark could be seen near the pool. No one noticed this.

A few weeks went by and no one returned to speedguide for it was scary . One day, while Hell_Yes was visiting and noticed something very peculiar. The pool seemed to be alive. And not with the sound of music, but with knowledge and wisdom of the ages. The people were amazed at the wisdom that grew out of this mess. From then on Speedguide became a very popular place and the people flocked to it. After a year or so of gestation. the pool known as speedguide gave birth to it's seed.

And thus, minir was born. a little piece of us all in him, and vice versa.

Noevo, we need to talk...

I see that you have retained the ability to read in Tongues...

*A very proud Great great Granddaddy Uncle*

You see, it was written in tongue as there was no pens or pencils, and, well, lets face it, with all of the inbreeding, they were too stupid to learn to read and write anyway...

Continue, my son, for you know of the putrid generic gene pool that my eyes were gigged from.

Another chapter while the old man takes a nap...

Well at least none of us have fallen far from the tree here. O_O

Originally posted by Andrea
Noevo, we need to talk...

noevo...I have a doghouse ready and waiting for ya if need be!

Yes, John was of Kip, Norm and Lobo, but another was begat from the "Terrible Trio" Banshee...
And from a hot summer night, in the heat of passion, Banshee and Norm begat Immortal...

Now TonyT and Hell_Yes had begat Messiah, and their relationship started to crumble. TonyT claimed that he took Mrs Thurston Howell the 69th fishing, as he reaked of rotten fish, but was wearing womens underwear, that he received as a gift from Humboldt, when they showed up with CoolJ in tow. All we know is that TonyT was constipated and without a bowel movement for a little over 8 months... Being called anal retentive was really getting the best of him and his emotions, so he ran away to breed rats with Humboldt.

Very ironic that the two "lesser endowed" members of the family ended uo together. But the rats didn't seem to mind their ocassional 34-some. Man did those 2 get some tail! And soon lil SG'ers were showing up like rats! Immortal, Funk & MikeMean- who were Siamese Twins and joined just above the waist, ssjDoh, Splash, and probably close to 800 still born...

Now Banshee and Humboldt was often seen "locked" up like dogs and soon S1lver was nursing from both of them...

TonyT went to Hell_Yes for comforting and soon begat SeedOfChaos and his "Gay" twin BloomOfChaos.
We are not sure, but we believe that Mouse mad Bloom Stew one night and then was feeling frisky and jumped Funk&MikeMeans bones thus Blebs and DrDoug were born, again Siamese Twins.
Blebs and DrDoug were separated, but ending up getting back together, as they were "made for each other". They had Bala.

John and Banshee's first was Nightowl, then they "tag teamed" with Funk and MikeMean and produced one of our most embarrassing family members, the MadDoc...

MadDoc had an animal fetish and many flings, with unspeakables, but Grimmy was welcomed after a pot of chile con carne and the explotions that followed. MadDoc swore he was on the pill and Grimmy was a freak of nature... You have to make that decision for yourself as I reserve comment for fear of self incrimination...

Science has not figured out how yet, but Funk & Mikemean fertilized themself and out came CC, you may know him as Cisco Certified, we know him as certified nut!

Ahhh, it is time for my electro shock treatment so maybe sweet Noeva can bring us up on a bit...

Stay tuned...

Man, what a mess we have made

I think in the morning I will fill in some blanks as far as our newer family members go

HEADS UP NEWBS!!!!!

Was I the only one to have sex with a human woman? I mean sure, she was my sweet, sexy, loving sister, but come on, all this buggering....

Originally posted by ghost
Was I the only one to have sex with a human woman? I mean sure, she was my sweet, sexy, loving sister, but come on, all this buggering....

Just be glad that you weren't Funk, as he was connected to MikeMean from waist down...

child berth is a great thing brembo! you must be prOUD< hidden message?

you realize this all cant end...its way to funny

Those were not the men that I spent my time with....

oh, please realize this is TWIZZTED !!!!!!

Okay, we've looked at the past now it's time to look a little more closely at the present.

This next chapter is maybe more amusing than scary, of course that depends on your perspective. It has the accounts of more recent additions to the family. Of course, the more recent additions also have their roots a little further back, but for the sake of our sanity we will discuss one famous pairing that has spawned many of them. It tells of a insatiable siren and a wordy young fellow. It seems this young "man" was always flirting and trying to get in good with this woman men just appeared to be drawn to. They say she had a sexual appetite that rivaled that of another famous woman (for whom another story and branch are waiting for her and her cohert. [tease] initials of this pair are MD and M[/tease]. Anyway, back to our young man and his neverending pursuit of his goal. He was always writing this woman poetry in hopes of wooing her away from the one she was already with. She did nothing to discourage this behavior and everything to encourage it. The boy just did not know what he was getting in to. Then one day, while our sirens other half was off slaying beasts of the worst kind, she decided to give in to her young suitor and see what developed. After finally telling him to shut up with the poems she gave herself to him. After hours of fumbling he figured out what to do. They're coupling lasted for many moons and spawned many prominant people in our tree.

Thus we describe the branch that is Splash and Paft.

From them was had JCOS and Terrancelam who hit it off right away and did the horizontal bop many a time, resulting in ace420 and MMC.

Also born from Splash and Paft was a child who never really fully developed a good vocabulary. You may know him as Jesse23.

Jesse ended up pairing of with another of Splash and Pafts offspring and have a very odd child themselves. Koribouros was born of Jesse23 and Ping.

to be continued...

Judging from your quick post, I would say the your recent de-worming has given you a case of the "back door trots", ehhh?...

Remember that Randy is currently residing in the outhouse...
He has already been covered with nuclear fall out once this week, I am not sure that the ol' boy can withstand another assault...

Originally posted by Ken
Judging from your quick post, I would say the your recent de-worming has given you a case of the "back door trots", ehhh?...

HEY! Is that an indictment of my work?

Oh well...running along

We come to a very sticky branch in our tree at this point. It concerns a pairing that has been kept very quiet for some time. As you all have seen Mad Doc has been chasing mouse like a tom cat chase a...well...a mouse. Over the years mouse has given the impression of playing hard to get. And Doc always giving the impression that he never quite "caught" mouse. This could not be farther from the truth. Mouse and Mad Doc have been having relations for years. As cheesy as it sounds, this has been kept quiet to protect their um...products. You see, they have been very influencial on the tree as well. Unfortunately, with every new birth, that child seemed to have less inteligence than the last. This has really come to be bare itself of late.

Let us now take a look at some of the early children that they had. Conceived one night while mad doc and mouse were watching the underwater submarine races at a duck pond, RoundEye was born. Some say the duc pond was the reason that he is do endeared to duc's still to this day. Now, on another "date" they spent many hours watching a marathon of bad movies. Out of this event was born BigJimSlate. It seemed everytime they got together mad doc and mouse produced another offspring. Night on the town, bam! Snake was born. Weekend in the mountains, ZOWIE! Exarkun was born. Day trip to an art gallery, WHAM! Martiangod was born.

In there later years is really where you can see that they should have stopped having kids. The intelect seemed to be drained from both of them and there was none left to pass on. Lord_Yuri and Linux Dawg were two of these examples. However, theres knot in the stump here. Linux Dawg who was known by many names, including ColdFusion, had on occasion like to play make believe. One day he convinced Lord_Yuri that he was actually a pretty college aged girl. This get together was damned from the beginning. All attempts to prevent the births that resulted fell short. And we are left with two very "distinctive" members of our tree. What could possibly be so horrible you ask? Well, what we got from this meeting should not be seen alone, or in public. Thats right, born of Lord_Yuri and Linux Dawg or a pair of children that have already paired off and started there own branch. The results of which we may not want to know. Those children?


Christopher561 and Athalonxpkid. Thank you very much Mad Doc and mouse.

And so it ends. In the years that come we will for sure have many more additions, and most likely even some more horrid results then we have had already. But for now, we are done. Let this serve as a reminder. Please, be careful of who's gene pool you are swimming in. You just may end up swimming with Mad Doc or Bremba or Ken or worse

bump for the afternoon crowd

Grimmy was a freak of nature...

I've heard this before.

BUMP^

Noevo made me do it! He is a bad man!

Oh Ken.... what could we have done to make you bump this thread? You're going to hell for this!

As a newbie I think I read this thing when it was first posted and wondered who on earth are these people and what caused them to be like this?

now,
after many treacherous miles, long nights, avatar wars, pious bannings, religious feuds, neverending spamathons, and well, everything else.............
I know.

Dang it Grimmy!
Why did you have to link to this thread!

Originally posted by Ken
Dang it Grimmy!
Why did you have to link to this thread!

I didn't think anyone would notice.

i think we'll have some additions to the "family" after this weekend!

Originally posted by torsten
As a newbie I think I read this thing when it was first posted and wondered who on earth are these people and what caused them to be like this?

now,
after many treacherous miles, long nights, avatar wars, pious bannings, religious feuds, neverending spamathons, and well, everything else.............
I know.

lol

THIS IS NE HELL F A FAMILY TREE!!!

and I wondered why jcos wanted me to join.....

Originally posted by teaaememy

and I wondered why jcos wanted me to join.....

....fresh blood.....

Originally posted by brembo
....fresh blood.....

um I'll just go hide um...... behind the couch. no ones been mentioned to be back there yet right?
__o00o_(_0_0_)_o00o__

Originally posted by teaaememy
um I'll just go hide um...... behind the couch. no ones been mentioned to be back there yet right?
__o00o_(_0_0_)_o00o__

YET! lol

Give it a few minutes and I'm sure one of our members will come crawling out from under the couch.

Originally posted by Joint Chiefs Of Staff
YET! lol

Give it a few minutes and I'm sure one of our members will come crawling out from under the couch.

Or you could talk about the two headed monster that is JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF

Originally posted by JCOS
Or you could talk about the two headed monster that is JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF

I've got a head for ya buddy boy!

Originally posted by teaaememy
um I'll just go hide um...... behind the couch. no ones been mentioned to be back there yet right?
__o00o_(_0_0_)_o00o__

fancy meeting you here. that's not my leg you're standing on !! Ya know what they say, "the best things come to those behind the couch.".

Originally posted by Joint Chiefs Of Staff
I've got a head for ya buddy boy!

Talk about a headcase...no wait! That's me!

Originally posted by Joint Chiefs Of Staff
YET! lol

Give it a few minutes and I'm sure one of our members will come crawling out from under the couch.

Brembo may be coming out of the closet!

Hey Tammy,
We could use some fresh genes in our contaminated, nuclear gene pool... Wanna go for a swim?

Originally posted by Ken
Brembo may be coming out of the closet!

Hey Tammy,
We could use some fresh genes in our contaminated, nuclear gene pool... Wanna go for a swim?

Well Tammy is Hebrew for perfection you know

Lance,
Pay heed to the "Do Not Swim" signs around the gene pool...

Don't drink any of the water, either......

wear a body condom....

don't swallow!!!