Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: English Essay Help.

  1. #1
    Mac Master Mehmet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Berkeley CA, The home of the hippies
    Posts
    4,764

    English Essay Help.

    Hey guys, got an essay due tommorrow, just need some tips on how to make it better.

    The thing is, our teachers will not care if the essay is the best thing in the world, it just has to have topic sentences that relate to the thesis statement.. mine are pretty weak, if you guys could help me out with that that would be cool..

    heres the essay

    Http://homepage.mac.com/bmho3/af.doc
    "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    - Benjamin Franklin

    "Weapons of Ass Destruction"

  2. #2
    Senior Member XSeaNX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Someplace warm, cold and uninviting...
    Posts
    1,595
    you mind copying and pasting here as my comp doesnt yet have word or any office program on it yet....still new
    AMD Athlon 1900+ XP | ASUS A7V266E mobo |Visiontek Xtasy GeForce3 Ti500 | 40gb HD 7200 | 16X DVD | 256mb DDR | SBlaster Audigy XGamer | Windows 2000 | Cooler Master ATC-210 Azure
    Originally posted by YARDofSTUF
    this dude needs some pimpish SG title lol

  3. #3
    Mac Master Mehmet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Berkeley CA, The home of the hippies
    Posts
    4,764
    Originally posted by XSeaNX
    you mind copying and pasting here as my comp doesnt yet have word or any office program on it yet....still new
    sure..


    Animal Farm Rough Draft
    Animal Farm, by George Orwell, is a book about animals revolting and driving humans out of a farm. They then have control of it, but soon the smarter animals, the pigs, start to take advantage of their knowledge, and use it for tricking the other less intelligent animals into believing things. Old Major was the leader, or the person they looked up to, in this book, he was also the oldest. He had a great doctrine of how animals should treat each other, and be treated. Old Major’s doctrine of animalism is slowly distorted.
    One example of this distortion is when they decide to start trading. Major when giving his doctrine said that there would be no trading allowed. This was to not make it seem like they were like man. This was broken by Napoleon, “No animal must ever …. or engage in trade.” (31) Although Old Major said this Napoleon still did this, and when the other animals asked about it, they just said that for the sake of the farm they were making trades, even though it was more for the sake of the pigs.
    Another example of this distortion is when the pigs decide to sleep in a bed. The Jones, as any human would, slept in beds. The pigs saw the opportunity to sleep in beds, which was a lot warmer than the ground. When reminded about the commandment about not sleeping in beds they said, “You did not suppose, surely…. A ruling against beds? …. The rule was against sheets, which are a human invention.” (80) The pigs say that there never was a rule against beds, when their own commandment said, “No animal shall sleep in a bed.” The Pigs bent it around by saying that anything that you sleep on is a bed, and everyone believed them.
    Another example of this distortion is the killing of the other animals. When Major was finishing up his doctrine, he talked about the ruling of animals and death. He said, “No animal shall kill any other animal.” (31-32) Although some might think that this is the most important rule of all, it was broken when Napoleon slaughtered 4 pigs, 4 hens, a goose, and 3 sheep. He killed them all, all in one day. It was as if that rule was not there. His response to the killings was that the killings were right because they were, supposedly, traitors.
    To sum it all up, there were many rules broken that were from the doctrine by Old Major. The Farm was turned into the exact farm it was before, except that it was a pig running the farm rather than a man. This farm was becoming hypocrisy. They would say one thing but do another. They also made it a dictatorship, by having it all run by one person rather than the community voicing opinions. We can’t let this happen to our world. If one person ruled our entire world, than that person could do whatever he wished. The public’s opinion would not matter if we had one global leader. We can see signs of this happening right now in our country, but we need to stop it before it becomes global.


    sorry for the paragraphs, vB doesnt like it..
    "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    - Benjamin Franklin

    "Weapons of Ass Destruction"

  4. #4
    Senior Member XSeaNX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Someplace warm, cold and uninviting...
    Posts
    1,595
    when is the essay due? plz say something like thurs. because I cant look at it now...however tommorow I will read it all over and correct anything I see and maybe expand on your ideas....man its been a long time since I read animal farm...and Im STILL IN SCHOOL!! lol...
    AMD Athlon 1900+ XP | ASUS A7V266E mobo |Visiontek Xtasy GeForce3 Ti500 | 40gb HD 7200 | 16X DVD | 256mb DDR | SBlaster Audigy XGamer | Windows 2000 | Cooler Master ATC-210 Azure
    Originally posted by YARDofSTUF
    this dude needs some pimpish SG title lol

  5. #5
    Mac Master Mehmet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Berkeley CA, The home of the hippies
    Posts
    4,764
    Originally posted by XSeaNX
    when is the essay due? plz say something like thurs. because I cant look at it now...however tommorow I will read it all over and correct anything I see and maybe expand on your ideas....man its been a long time since I read animal farm...and Im STILL IN SCHOOL!! lol...
    its actually due tommorrow

    but it would be cool if you could still look it over, because if i get a bad grade, ill just redo it.

    Thanks
    "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    - Benjamin Franklin

    "Weapons of Ass Destruction"

  6. #6
    Imperial Impotentate brembo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    crawlspaces
    Posts
    18,725
    Hey Veg, gimmie an email addy, I proofed it bit.
    Tao_Jones Cult Member since 2004
    I gave Miss Manners a Dirty Sanchez, and she LIKED it.

  7. #7
    Just wondered if you're aware it isn't really an "animal" story. It's Orwell's comment on the communist regime in the Soviet Union. He was a communist himself but became disillusioned with the way things developed in the Soviet Union. The main animal characters represent Stalin, Lenin and Trotsky.

  8. #8
    Advanced Member cobra25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    517
    oh my god..... you haven't even made a link to communism and socialism??

    I did a small essay about it too, sorry but I didn't save it.. it was a few years back......

    The most important thing that teachers want to hear is that you make the link to communism...
    You see, the rat's also a Ventriloquist.

    Real Scots wear kilts, because sheep can hear a zipper from 500 yards


    www.jiu-jitsu-do.com
    http://members.lycos.nl/budoka/euronojutsu.htm

  9. #9
    Senior Member XSeaNX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Someplace warm, cold and uninviting...
    Posts
    1,595
    hey guys chill out...hes not even in highschool yet(are you?) when I read that book I was in 5th grade so that wasnt the lesson of the book

    maybe Ill end up reading it again to make the link but...I wouldnt worry if he didnt because this book is more than just something teachers use so people make a connection to communism....they just use it for good reading.
    AMD Athlon 1900+ XP | ASUS A7V266E mobo |Visiontek Xtasy GeForce3 Ti500 | 40gb HD 7200 | 16X DVD | 256mb DDR | SBlaster Audigy XGamer | Windows 2000 | Cooler Master ATC-210 Azure
    Originally posted by YARDofSTUF
    this dude needs some pimpish SG title lol

  10. #10
    Army of one torsten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    55414
    Posts
    2,366
    You might wanna check out this link:
    http://www.classicnote.com/ClassicNo...es/animalfarm/

    Here's an excerpt:

    Through a coincidence of history, Animal Farm appeared in stores the same month that the atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The irony of this publication date for one of the most politicized novels of the 20th century did not escape its early readers, or its author. Orwell made no secret of the fact that his writing, and Animal Farm in particular, was single-mindedly focused on the obliteration of totalitarian regimes. Animal Farm, while obviously referring to the general scope of all forms of totalitarian governments, may be seen as a satire of the Russian Revolution of 1917 in particular. Because of this controversial subject matter, British publishing houses were loathe to take on Orwell's work, and he was rejected throughout his entire first round of publishing attempts. Upon the novel's eventual publication in 1945, however, Orwell was instantly famous. The reception of Animal Farm led to many different interpretations of its meaning, which Orwell perhaps clarifies best himself, in his article called "Why I Write":

    "Every line of serious work that I have written since 1936 has been written, directly or indirectly, against totalitarianism...Animal Farm was the first book in which I tried, with full consciousness of what I was doing, to fuse political purpose and artistic purpose into one whole."

  11. #11
    SG Enthusiast chevyman282's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    N.E.Oh
    Posts
    1,621
    Thank God, I am not in school, I can read so much into that thesis, I be kicked out of school for starting a rebellion....

    Good Luck...... I think.....
    chevyman282
    When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty."
    – Theodore Roosevelt

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •