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Thread: Critique my essay

  1. #1
    Sprinkler Dude IranianHobo's Avatar
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    Critique my essay

    I was wondering if you guys would be willing to critique an essay I wrote last night. Stayed up too one writing it. Don;t need to proofread it if you dont wanna (I has already been handed in). I just wanna know how you guys thinks my style and orginization was. its quite long just under 5 pages double spaced at font 12.
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    It is generally accepted that the Renaissance was a time for progression, however whether the Renaissance was a time of advancement for woman is still widely disputed. In this paper we will look at two separate articles, the first an excerpt from Mary R. Beard’s book Woman as Force In History in which Beard claims that the Renaissance was indeed a time when woman took tremendous leaps forward. Joan Kelly-Gadol however contests that women of the Middle Ages enjoyed far greater liberties then those ladies who followed them during the Renaissance in her breathtaking essay Did Women Have A Renaissance?.
    Mary R. Beard seems to rely upon woman’s access to education as her primary criteria for comparing the advancement of upper class woman against that of men; during the Renaissance. She contends that women’s access to higher learning was greatly expanded and that the ever-increasing number of female scholars during this time period show that this is indeed true. She also makes note that their male counterparts accepted these women as equals. It is important to note however that these aforementioned changes were mainly experienced by upper-class woman especially those who lived in Italy.
    Beard asserts that the practice of opening up education to women first began in Italy during the 15th and early 16th centuries. She makes note that this trend of female education begin first in Italy because here was where many of the Greek and Latin writings had found their way. Before the fall of Constantinople Italy received many works of Greek writing from that region of the world and this flow continued even after the Turks captured the city in 1453. Bread also pulls our attention to the fact that the Latin works written by Roman available almost exclusively in Italy had a far greater style and flow then the boring and ill written Latin of monkish chroniclers. Soon as the Middle Ages drew to a close, Italian women began along side their men as universities opened up their doors to women for the first time. Women also began to find alternatives to a formal school education. Among these tutoring and home schooling lead by parents along with lectures, and basic human communication both verbal and written became popular. Several female scholars gained fame and greatness during this time. Isotta Nogarola was one of the greatest humanist scholars and it was said that she and her other female counterparts “could hold their own in matters of scholarship with the best of their male contemporaries and… were accepted and even acclaimed everywhere.” And soon Italian acceptance of learned women spread to Spain where Queen Isabella began a movement to further educate herself and other around her. And in France it was Christine de Pisan who began the upper-class woman’s movement into education and learning.
    Mrs. Beard makes her greatest point though through the men of the time that wrote about their female counterparts. Many writers of the Renaissance exaggerated their praise of women. For example Boccaccio a humanist in the thirteenth hundreds wrote a book about all famous women and memorable women, and his test was later held as one of the most notable books of the Renaissance.
    Of course Joan Kelly-Gadol’s essay Did Women Have A Renaissance? Seems to whole heartedly disagreed with Beard’s views on Renaissance women they’re gaining or losing ground compared to men. Kelly-Gadol argues that those very same institutions the Beard claims advanced Italian women compared to the rest of Western Europe actually held them back. She notes how during the Renaissance women lost many economic and political roles they held in Middle Ages. Also the essay discusses how woman came to be viewed as inferior to men in many writings of the time especially compared to how little restraint was placed on women in the Middle Age literature. However her major defense that women indeed lost power to men during the Renaissance was how love and the processes of love switched to procedures that favored men. Indeed Kelly-Gadol makes several very good points as to Renaissance women losing power compared to males as a result of the Renaissance.
    Love and how it related to women of the time was a point taken very seriously by Killy-Gabol. She points out in a love relationship during the Middle Ages the male was often in the position of a “vassal” to his lady, who was always in the upper hand to her lover. Also prior to the Renaissance males would kneel before their loves, they did not show any signs of domination over women, or at least over upper-class women. In fact it was uncommon for a woman to court a man because the role of a courtier was always the males task. However on the other hand a Renaissance lady was always courting her husband. Although Kelly-Gabol agrees that a women always received the same education as her husband. However the proposes in educating a woman was to make that female more charming and by the Renaissance, charming others had becoming the primary goal and task of a noblewoman. During the Renaissance women lost their independence in being able to support themselves, a luxury once enjoyed by Middle Age women. However now many women especially those living in Italy found them selves entirely depended upon the males of their life. This occurred as woman were gradually removed from almost all worldly affairs outside their families and this effect got even worse as you went down the classes. The Renaissance created a culture for women to follow that was created entirely by men and served the best interest of their creators not that of a woman’s.
    It is in the belief of the author that indeed female power did take a step backwards as a result of the Renaissance while male power advanced. Although women did enjoy the benefit of greater education during this period of time, there ability to control at least partially they’re way of life was torn away from them. Indeed though this education that was garnered during the Renaissance would be put to use later my women in order to gain equality among their males counterparts.
    No event in recent history has had such different consequences for men and women then the Roaring Twenties of America and the household appliances introduced during that period. As manufactures introduced to the world household appliances that eased the day to day maintenance of a household, a task that was up to then primarily assigned to the women of a house (except in the upper-class where private servants could have been feasible). These appliances, which were widely available, allowed your “housewife” to being her transition out of the house and into the workplace. Mean while household appliances did very little for most men whom did not even attempt any housework. And in the long term these inventions have changed the entire course and ideology of the female sex.
    Whether the Renaissance was a time of positive change for men and women is a subject that will continue to be debated. And as further information and points of view are published our views on this amazing time in history will change.
    ---the Iranian Fury

  2. #2
    Sprinkler Dude IranianHobo's Avatar
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    Oh yeah and if your really intrested the MS Word version is available for transfer.
    ---the Iranian Fury

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