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Thread: Observations and a stroke of genius against squirrels

  1. #1
    R.I.P. 2022-05-29 Ken's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Observations and a stroke of genius against squirrels

    Background: I have a large yard with a private lake that is a natural lake listed on FL Dept. of Natural Resources. At 30 ft down, it is on the aquifer, and if you are a brave diver, you could surface in other lakes a 1/2 mile away.

    Yard has many beautiful flowering plants of different types and colors of flowers; purple, red, blue, pink, etc., that attract many butterflies, bees (2 colonies out back), birds, and such.

    I have opossums, wild rabbits, ducks, snakes (the water moccasins are not around anymore, haven't seen one in years, thankfully. I think the guy that takes care of the back 40 (what I call the back yard) must have...well I don't know and don't want to know as I am still a farm boy at heart and have no desire to hurt anything. I love nature.)


    Now, to the point...
    Some years ago, a couple of friends gave me a bird feeder. Nothing fancy, just the type that you can buy at Home Depot, Lowes. I have some various types of wrought iron 'things' that you can hang lanterns from and whatnot.

    I have many types of birds that live in my yard. A bad arse red hawk lives in the 'back 40' that will keep the birds hidden when he is on the prowl. I have watch him swoop down and grab garden snakes without them knowing what hit them. Awesome to actually see this happen live! He likes baby ducks also!
    Only when the Eagle is in the neighborhood, even the hawk stays hidden. He is big and bad. Over a foot tall with his chest proudly sticking out! Majestic!

    Birds seem to live in pairs with the males brightly colored and the females colors are more subdued. Cardinals, blue jays, wood peckers, wrens, and many others are routinely seen visiting the feeder. They will 'stage' so that only one at the time is at the feeder. Males, then females...
    The feeder is on an inverted 'J' wrought iron pole located where I can watch it.

    The freaking squirrels are nothing more than greedy diurnal rats with hairy tails! (Kinda like Humby... ) The bas-turds (yes, I said it that way!!) will empty the bird feeder in a day, filling their mouths and hiding the seed, merely for them to rot, depriving my birds!!!

    People ask me to let them shoot with a BB gun. I'll shoot your arse with a BB gun if you shoot at my squirrels!! Not a chance, don't want to kill or maim. I tried different things to keep the squirrels out of my bird feeder!

    Located away from bushes so the only way is to climb the pole. They are good climbers, fail!

    Bought a huge jug of red pepper. Cover the roof with it like snow. Capsaicin, what makes peppers hot, will affect all mammals, but not birds. It was funny to watch the squirrels get on the roof, jump up about a foot in the air and hit the ground running fast! They are intelligent. After a few days they would shake the pole or the wire that the feeder hangs from and suffer a bit to get the seeds! And I had to cover the roof daily with the red pepper. Fail!

    OK, this is becoming a book, so I will forego the other methods that failed and get to the stroke of genius!

    Vaseline baby!!! Oh yeah, hey Koolaid!!! That's what I.m talking about!

    Had my son lube the pole with vaseline a week ago. I watched one squirrel jump on pole and slide down, no grip, hit the ground and took off like lightning. They communicate, no doubt!! Don't let nature fool you, birds, mammals, whatever, they communicate, trust me...

    Now the squirrels will sneak up to the pole...and eat the seeds that spill out of feeder off the ground... WIN!!!!!

    As a note, pigeons and crows are not able to get the seed. They can land on roof, but not able to drop down to the ledge to feed. They don't even try no more, so YES, they communicate.

    And I'm talking about communicate, not talking about communicable diseases...Yes Humby, directed at you!!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Easto's Avatar
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    I tried the same things on Mrs. Easto but they didn't work. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

  3. #3
    R.I.P. 2022-05-29 Ken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Easto View Post
    I tried the same things on Mrs. Easto but they didn't work. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
    LMAO The things that we do for love!!

  4. #4
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Easto View Post
    I tried the same things on Mrs. Easto but they didn't work. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
    The last method has been known to work well with alcohol.
    Linux is user friendly, it's just picky about its friends...
    Disclaimer: Please use caution when opening messages, my grasp on reality may have shaken loose during transmission (going on rusty memory circuits). I also eat whatever crayons are put in front of me.
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  5. #5
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    There are some "spring-loaded" bird feeders that close when squirrels (or even big birds) get on them.

  6. #6
    R.I.P. 2022-05-29 Ken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philip View Post
    There are some "spring-loaded" bird feeders that close when squirrels (or even big birds) get on them.
    Yes my girlfriend has one of those!

  7. #7
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    No bite marks I hope

    Bird feeders should not hurt the poor squirrels.

  8. #8
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken View Post

    The freaking squirrels are nothing more than greedy diurnal rats with hairy tails! (Kinda like Humby...
    Thoroughly uncalled for.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ken View Post
    Had my son lube the pole with vaseline a week ago.
    Vaseline baby!!! Oh yeah!!!
    As long as it was consensual.

  9. #9

  10. #10
    Senior Member Easto's Avatar
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    Try WD-40. I'm not sure about squirrels but I know if you spray it anywhere near a bee's nest they'll head for the hills. They can't stand to have it on them.

  11. #11
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    It was about to launch as Water Displacement-39(th formula), but at the last minute one of patent guys tried it against squirrels.

    Last minute change of plans, became good ol' WD-40.

    Found this (https://www.wisebread.com/almost-200...n-of-wd-40-1):


    Use to loosen rusty nuts and screws, clean garden tools
    Cleans piano keys
    Keeps wicker chairs from squeaking
    Lubricates small rolling toys
    Keeps garden tools rust-free
    Cleans patio door glide strip
    Removes crayon from clothes dryer (make sure to unplug dryer first)
    Removes scuff marks from ceramic tile floor
    Keeps metal wind chimes rust-free
    Removes crayon from walls
    Helps join plastic shelving to make disassembly easier
    Removes water spots from mirrors
    Lubricates hinge on pruning shears
    Lubricates screws on lawn furniture
    Lubricates hydraulic rams on slideout of 5th wheel
    Cleans fiberglass bathtubs
    Cleans and prevents rust on oil tank exterior
    Cleans and protects bed of wheelbarrows
    Prevents rust on swamp cooler nuts
    Removes tea stains from countertops
    Removes crayon from wallpaper
    Lubricates gate locks
    Removes crayon from carpet
    Removes tape marks from the wall where posters hung
    Shines leaves of artificial houseplants
    Keeps snow from sticking to shovel
    Removes coffee stains on floor tiles
    Keeps hose ends from corroding
    Lubricates moving parts on playground equipment
    Removes crayon from plastic
    Removes decals from bathtubs
    Removes old cellophane tape
    Removes crayon from shoes
    Cleans ashtrays
    Removes crayon from toys
    Cleans and protects underside of cast iron skillets
    Removes ink from carpet
    Keeps garden plant cages bright and rust free
    Cleans lawnmower blades
    Cleans and protects antique kitchen tools
    Prevents mildew growth on fountain
    Removes marks from floors left by chair feet
    Removes crayon from chalk boards
    Eliminates static on volume and tuning control knobs
    Cleans candle soot
    Removes ink from blue jeans
    Cleans residue on luggage handles
    Cleans old muffin tins
    Cleans and protects pruning shears
    Cleans gold-plated faucets
    Removes petroleum stains from clothing
    Keeps sewing needles from rusting
    Removes Kool-Aid stains from carpet and fabric
    Removes gunk from plastic dish-drainer
    Lubricates kitchen sink handheld spray nozzle
    Removes rust from curtain rods
    Removes adhesive from precious china
    Cleans bottoms of pots and pans
    Helps prevent rust on hide-a-key containers
    Cleans vinyl garage doors
    Cleans doggie doo from tennis shoes
    Removes gunk when replacing old faucets
    Cleans and protects medicine door latches
    Protects wrought iron from rust
    Removes tomato stains from clothes
    Prevents rust from forming on washing machines
    Keeps metal wire screens rust free
    Removes blue baked-on acrylic cover shields from acrylic windows
    Preventative maintenance on cooking burner
    Removes coffee stains from leather
    Protects electric pump on furnace
    Removes ink stains from leather
    Prevents corrosion on copper parts of fountain
    Lubricates folding parts of ironing board
    Removes rust from chair feet
    Cleans and polishes gold and brass lamps
    Removes adhesive price tag from shoe bottoms
    Keeps trigger on glue gun from sticking
    Cleans bed frame
    Protects shower heads from rust
    Protects silver from blackening
    Lubricates external pivots on lawnmowers
    Keeps blades from rusting on garden plow
    Cleans black streaks from hardwood floors
    Protects inner machinery in toilet against corrosion
    Removes paint from tile flooring
    Protects hand trowels from corrosion
    Cleans and protects pitchforks
    Lubricates screen channels upon installation of rubber bead
    Removes rust stains from bathroom tubs
    Cleans metal figurines
    Shines shower doors
    Protects patio door from sun damage
    Cleans mildew from refrigerator gasket
    Helps clean rust from wire shelves
    Cleans newspaper ink from tables
    Removes rust stains from floor after mopping
    Cleans and protects TV antenna
    Removes gum from wallpaper
    Penetrates and frees stuck toilet shutoff valve
    Spray on rototiller blades to prevent rust during off-season
    Cleans melted vacuum belt from carpeting
    Removes crayon from television screen
    Lubricates zippers on lawn mower grass catcher bags
    Cleans gunk from chain saws
    Prevents rust on metal patio chairs
    Removes crayon marks from glass
    Camouflages scratches in cultured marble
    Removes berry stains from patio furniture
    Removes gum stuck to concrete
    Cleans heavy dirt from shovels
    Cleans rust from metal exterior of speakers
    Coat outside pipes during winter to help prevent freezing damage or pipe bursts
    Removes glue deposits from linoleum
    Lubricates hinges on antique smoking stand
    Removes masking tape residue from linoleum
    Cleans gunk built up on doorknobs
    Removes stickers from credit cards
    Cleans smoke stains
    Removes lipstick from carpet
    Lubricates metal latches on chain link fences
    Removes melted scotch tape from dining room table
    Removes stains from coffee cups
    Removes crayon from screen doors
    Removes crayon from plastic tables
    Removes oil stains from nylon
    Spray on hula hoe swivels to clean & prevent corrosion
    Lubricates air holes before inserting hand air pump nozzle onto tires
    Keeps lawnmower wheels turning smoothly
    Keeps plant supports from rusting
    Removes gum from linoleum floor
    Removes strawberry stains from countertops
    Removes tar from shovels
    Keeps plant hangers from rusting
    Removes mascara from tile floors
    Erases marks caused by chair backs on running boards of wall
    Spray on silverware during unused periods to prevent tarnishing
    Clean black marks from shoes off the floor
    Removes labels from medicine bottles
    Removes wax from shoes
    Cleans chair wheels
    Cleans window sills
    Protects snow shovels from the effects of salt
    Cleans and protects washer lid
    Prevents corrosion on outdoor light fixtures
    Removes felt pen marks from floor
    Loosens valve stems on lawnmower tires
    Removes gum from aluminum siding
    Removes wax from vinyl surfaces
    Lubricates mixer gears
    Removes rollerblade marks from kitchen floor
    Adds moisture to and preserves ivory and bone items
    Keeps lawn mower carburetors free of gunk
    Removes Velcro stickers
    Polishes away scratches on countertops
    Lubricates vacuum cleaner roller brush
    Cleans gunk from base of toilet bowl
    Lubricates runners on porch glider
    Cleans roofing tar off circular saw blades
    Protects exposed metal parts on snow blowers
    Removes sticker residue from clothes
    Removes gum from flagpoles
    Keeps clay from sticking to shovels
    Prevents rake from rusting
    Removes laundry detergent stain from washer
    Polishes splash guards
    Cleans crayon off of rock walls
    Lubricates ball valve handle on sprinkler system
    Lubricates return springs on riding lawnmowers
    Keeps kitty-doo from sticking to electric cat-box rakes
    Removes dried toothpaste stains
    Removes silly putty from furniture
    Cleans lime stains from toilet bowls
    Spray on bottom 6 inches of wooden patio table to prevent mildew build up
    Removes glue from refrigerator
    Helps clean showers
    Cleans build up on hedge trimmers
    Lubricates gardening shears
    Cleans dog hair from sliding door rollers
    Removes marks-a-lot ink from most items
    Removes rust from cookie tins
    Keeps flower pots from sticking together when stacked in storage
    Removes gum from dryer lint screen
    Cleans tar from rubber water hoses
    Removes scuff marks from lawn furniture
    Removes rust stains from tile floors
    Lubricates lever on razor scraper
    Removes lipstick from fabric
    Cleans and lubricates the rubber surrounds on stereo sub woofers
    Spray down drain throat to remove scum
    Removes crayon from place mats
    Removes stubborn body oils and shampoo residue from bath mats
    Spray around bottom of garbage cans to prevent animals from getting in
    Removes oxidation from aluminum window frames
    Polishes and protects brass candlesticks
    Cleans music racks
    Cleans peanut butter from shoestrings
    Cleans and protects blades of pruning shears
    Cleans wood planter bed
    Cleans scum from rubber gloves

  12. #12
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    "Removes gum from dryer lint screen" <-- if I try this we can save on softener, but my wife may lynch me.
    Linux is user friendly, it's just picky about its friends...
    Disclaimer: Please use caution when opening messages, my grasp on reality may have shaken loose during transmission (going on rusty memory circuits). I also eat whatever crayons are put in front of me.
    ๑۩۞۩๑

  13. #13
    Moderator YeOldeStonecat's Avatar
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    I have a spring loaded bird feeder that looks a lot like this one.
    If a squirrel gets on it, the outside tube gets weight down and slides down, so the holes close up.

    Name:  bd1024_base.jpg
Views: 71
Size:  28.3 KB
    MORNING WOOD Lumber Company
    Guinness for Strength!!!

  14. #14
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YeOldeStonecat View Post
    I have a spring loaded bird feeder that looks a lot like this one.
    If a squirrel gets on it, the outside tube gets weight down and slides down, so the holes close up.

    Name:  bd1024_base.jpg
Views: 71
Size:  28.3 KB
    Seems handy for some ex-girlfriends.

  15. #15
    Moderator YeOldeStonecat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Humboldt View Post
    Seems handy for some ex-girlfriends.
    LOL. I sill remember all your "Morning sex" posts!
    MORNING WOOD Lumber Company
    Guinness for Strength!!!

  16. #16
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YeOldeStonecat View Post
    LOL. I sill remember all your "Morning sex" posts!
    They sure got a "rise" out of Brent.

    He was so offended, in between posting about hos 500 gig porn drive and enjoying the smell of his farts.

  17. #17
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Humboldt View Post
    Brent enjoying the smell of his own farts.
    I wrote a story about Brents farts many years ago (although I only have 2 posts here on SpeedGuide). Any takers?????
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  18. #18
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadDoctor View Post
    I wrote a story about Brents farts many years ago (although I only have 2 posts here on SpeedGuide). Any takers?????
    I'll ask Ken to send you a dollar if you just go ahead and send the story to Brent.

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