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Thread: Girlfriend/mortgage

  1. #1
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Girlfriend/mortgage

    I have another 18 years on my mortgage, about 1700+ monthly right now.

    My girlfriend has been living here the past 6 months, moved out of her place 3 months ago.
    Living together.

    First time in this situation.
    No, I'm not paying rent.
    Yes, paying one hell of a mortgage.

    Trying to figure out whether to ask her for anything additional than the utilities.

    Opinions welcomed.
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Humboldt View Post
    Living together.
    Share together.

    Equally... but proportional to what each person makes.
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  3. #3
    Moderator YeOldeStonecat's Avatar
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    Whelp...the tough part is bringing this subject up "after she moved in". The time to discuss this was...~4 months ago..before her decision to move out of her place and into yours. But to be fair to yourself...you gotta talk about it, else you'd probably start feeling taken advantage of.

    That being said...think of a way to bring up the subject..."Hey, OK, so can we have a talk about living expenses?" And then like Goathumper mentioned above...a fair percentage...not necessarily 50/50, but I'd look at things such as *What she makes, *What kind of debts she might have, *What her prior rent was (I would not ask for more than her prior rent was).
    MORNING WOOD Lumber Company
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  4. #4
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YeOldeStonecat View Post
    Whelp...the tough part is bringing this subject up "after she moved in". The time to discuss this was...~4 months ago..before her decision to move out of her place and into yours. But to be fair to yourself...you gotta talk about it, else you'd probably start feeling taken advantage of.
    The man speaks the truth.

    Quote Originally Posted by YeOldeStonecat View Post
    That being said...think of a way to bring up the subject..."Hey, OK, so can we have a talk about living expenses?" And then like Goathumper mentioned above...a fair percentage...not necessarily 50/50, but I'd look at things such as *What she makes, *What kind of debts she might have, *What her prior rent was (I would not ask for more than her prior rent was).
    If you don't, it's always going to be sitting at the back of your mind. If talking about money in the casual fashion WetOldHairball indicated is uncomfortable, perhaps you should set the watch for icebergs in the months to come.
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  5. #5
    Second Most EVIL YARDofSTUF's Avatar
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    I wouldn't do 50/50 but I'd charge something, she is living there, but its your place.

  6. #6
    Resident Atheist Dan's Avatar
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    like cat said,it's too late now,those details if needed should have been talked about and agreed on before she moved in,

    the house payment is the same if she is there or not,and it's in your name and credit.(maybe if down the road marriage or whatever happens could change the game)

    maybe I'm old school,I wouldn't ask for anything from her right now,

    I'm sure she will help out a lot around the house,(lots of chores and maintenance needed around that place),she'll be there for you ,share things with,etc,etc

    ask her for $ help from time to time when needed and call it a day for now.

    see how it goes for a couple years,relax,enjoy her being there,

    did you have her move in for a close relationship or for a room mate for financial aide ?

    either way,I would tread lightly in this area.

    I have had a few women move in with me over the years and I have never asked for those $ things,they seem to be pretty smart and figure out it's a two way street and they end up doing the right stuff,whether it's financial help or any of the other many things that can be and need to be done around a house.If you picked the right woman for you then she will surprise you and things will work out.

  7. #7
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    Like everyone already mentioned, try to make it some type of fair arrangement, so neither of you feels taken advantage of.

    Keep in mind that your mortgage is different than rent... The portion of your payment that is principal actually goes towards you owning that house, you are getting some equity back. If she's already paying utilities you are getting some type of financial break, so it all boils down to what the two of you feel is "fair".

  8. #8
    SCSI Dude Faust's Avatar
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    I may have missed something, but just to throw this out there...

    Could her making payments to support their shared home mean she has a right to a portion of the home's equity?
    "Today is a black day in the history of mankind."

    - Leo Szilard

  9. #9
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faust View Post
    Could her making payments to support their shared home mean she has a right to a portion of the home's equity?
    A person who rents an apartment does not have rights to a portion of that apartment (hence the rental agreement). Equity is shared when ink dries. I don't think 'moving in' is that formal.

    However... I know some lawyers looking to pay their country club dues in January, and would be happy to write something up for a small fee. Everyone's comfort level is different.
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  10. #10
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    *thread jack in progress*
    Quote Originally Posted by MadDoctor View Post



    I know some lawyers looking to pay their country club dues in January, and would be happy to write something up for a small fee.
    Really? And what do you consider a small fee? My sister (God bless her and her crippled cricket collection) considers a small fee $0.

    Small. What. $250/hour?
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  11. #11
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Yes. $250/hour.

    *note how my post count is going up. A large post count improves your chances of being able to breed with the "prettier" of the flock*
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  12. #12
    Resident Atheist Dan's Avatar
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    hell one of the tattooers that does tattoos on me is at $250 hr

  13. #13
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    No kidding?!?!?!?!?! I got mine a while back but I don't remember $250/hour. Sheeeeeeeeeee

    *must stay on task*

    You pay for quality, you get quality. You want cheap.... PM me.
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  14. #14
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    *Note how big Dan's post count is. There is a very good chance he is getting all the wool he could ever want*

    Another person jumping into your thread jack is a welcome opportunity to extend your post count. Not only can you 'key' off the original subject of someone living with you without going over the fine print... but now you can 'rabbit trail' to tattoos! And endless opportunity to jerk this thread 3,000 ways.

    Don't attempt this without some previous Internet experience.
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  15. #15
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    A pause between posts is important... if you want to avoid the eyes of the law.

    Run to the kitchen and grab that bottle of mother's milk you've always wanted to taste. Come back to the computer and report in. DO NOT taste the jug juice until I say so.

    *a sudden subject change that is absurd and somewhat stomach rolling is the mark of a seasoned "jacker"*
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  16. #16
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadDoctor View Post
    ... if you want to avoid the eyes of the law.
    About that. What are some hard and true tips you can give the kids at home?
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  17. #17
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    I would suggest getting on the good side of the law... before you get in trouble. Cash. Lump sum or payments.

    However, many in the law game prefer "personal services" over cash. Some things cannot be purchased and be enjoyed with the same furor.
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  18. #18
    Resident Atheist Dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadDoctor View Post
    *Note how big Dan's schlong is. There is a very good chance he is getting all the booty he could ever want*

    Another person jumping into your thread jack is a welcome opportunity to extend your post count. Not only can you 'key' off the original subject of someone living with you without going over the fine print... but now you can 'rabbit trail' to tattoos! And endless opportunity to jerk this thread 3,000 ways.

    Don't attempt this without some previous Internet experience.
    fixed

  19. #19
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    you - are - sick



    *talking to yourself is a tool you should keep sharp in the event no one is around to post. Try it now. Talk to yourself*
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  20. #20
    Junior Member MadDoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan View Post
    fixed
    I see....................... I see very well... and that is a big one!
    People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.

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