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Thread: Reaching out to help an old member (JCoS Charity)

  1. #1
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    Reaching out to help an old member (JCoS Charity)

    I am posting on behalf of JCoS,
    He has limited internet and I am trying to work on this with him. I will help also when i can but I am currently unemployed, but once i had money besides unemployment rolling in, I will be on this.


    I will be posting this to other military groups on facebook looking for support.


    I want to stress that Patrick and I dont expect anything, this is stricly out of the kindness of your own heart and sympathy for a decent guy that has made some mistakes in his like. Thank you SG fam!


    Link to the fund is below, any and all funds will go to help JCoS and all funds spend will be shown on the fund page and in this post for accountability.


    Thank you to Philip for giving us the go ahead to post this here.
    Hello Speedguide,

    This is JCoS (Patrick). Some, if not most SG members know me from the forums over the years. Though I haven’t been on the boards in almost 10 years posting (spamming), I do once in awhile check the forums…lurking. Old habits die hard. With that out of the way, please take the time and consideration to respond negatively or positively to this post.

    First, I would like to publicly thank my friend Morbidpete (Peter) for all his assistance. Also, Philip for giving this a go. You have no idea how appreciative I am just for trying. Thank you and on to the situation at hand. Please, forgive the length of this message. I am trying to paint an accurate and honest picture. It’s not easy but I am trying to be humble.

    Some SG members are my Facebook friends and see over the years about me and my wife, life in Kuwait and the Philippines. Only Peter knows that my wife and I have separated as of early last January 2014. In February, 2011 my wife decided to leave Kuwait and start building our house in the Philippines…land vehicle etc. etc. Frankly, I was not happy about it since we had a life in Kuwait…together.

    Shortly after my wife’s departure, I was in IKEA buying a bathroom cabinet for my new flat and met a sales lady that assisted me with the purchase. She asked me out for coffee and I thought why not, I’m bored…it would be innocent. It was innocent at first. I told her I was married etc….the whole truth. What I didn’t know or think possible that this lady would sabotage my marriage during the course of our friendship. Her long term agenda was to steal me from my wife. She openly told me this last year. She is also a Filipina. Too many accounts to write out over the events. Long story and too much more to type at this moment.

    Just so you all know being a DoD contractor for 9 years doesn’t pay what you may think. Mind you, it was great with minimal tax deductions, and visiting/living the Philippines with my wife was dirt cheap by US standards. Building a house, land etc. in the US as most here by our standards is very expensive but with my salary and conversion rate, it was not in the Philippines. That being said, in late 2012 the house was completed. By Filipino standards it was called a huge mansion. Anyways you get the idea.

    Long story trying to make short, I faltered and had a mistress so to speak from 2011-2014. Trust me it gets worse…way worse. My wife knew from the start due to the background info, pics etc from the mistress on the sly. Yet my wife kept quiet about her knowledge of my affair all because of the money as she stated. I was sending almost 3K/mo. A Kings ransom in the Philippines.

    Some here at SG may also know that my wife and I lost our baby girl Madison at the start of the 3rd trimester diagnosed with sever preeclampsia. She was admitted to the ICU to try and save our baby, not just her but also my wife. I was stuck trying to get out of Kuwait to be by her side during that week. I recommended infusion treatment to the doctors via text messaging back and forth which I was researching for the baby as the Amniotic fluid was dwindling away. Keep in mind the Philippines is a 3rd world country. The hospital in Tacloban contacted a doctor at St Judes, Manila to perform the treatment. She flew down but never performed the surgery/procedure as it was never performed in the Philippines…until now. Doc contacted some Docs from the US and sent videos etc.

    The doc prepared, studied and started the treatment 3 days later. It worked for a day. The second time worked for another day. Third day my wife’s blood pressure already was already elevated to 150+ and the baby’s heartbeat was in distress. The doctor choose saving my wife’s life and Maddy pasted away inside the womb when they induced labor with hopes that Maddy would survive outside the womb. The next day I finally was able to fly and arrived 12 September and did not know as I was in the air. Anyways, I always wanted a girl and I was devasted when I arrived at the hospital…beyond words she hugged me and said I lost our baby…a girl. I lost it emotionally. Still haven’t recovered, probably never will. She was recovering in the hospital and 4 days later we buried our daughter on September 15th.

    I spent two weeks home and had to return to Kuwait. The day I returned for work, I and 16 other IMD (Information Management Department) employees were giving walking papers. They were streamlining personnel to make more profit. Hire new employees at lower wages. Plus for them, more money, less payout. 9 years and boom. I just spent the remainder of my savings to the hospital, doctors etc etc etc and burying my daughter. A bit over 1 million peso. What savings I had was dried up. No problem there, I had a job returning. Boy was I mistaken. I literally had only about 5K in severance benefits.

    That was Oct 1, 2013. I was allowed to stay in company flat for 6 weeks so I could find work with other contracts before my visa was cancelled by host nations. Fat chance as the war in Iraq was technically over and troop numbers was also lower in Afghanistan. Translation…contractors were not needed like years prior.

    During early 2013 I somewhat cut ties with my mistress for the most part while in Kuwait. I knew it was wrong but I was upset with my wife’s decisions about land, rice fields, the house etc. etc etc. I was spiraling downward faster and faster. I know it’s not a valid reason but I was not happy with her choices.

    I shipped my PC and all personal belongings sea freight and arrived home in the Philippines on November 8th, 2013. I got an email from Lockheed Martin for a job in Qatar that I applied for on the 6th before departure from Kuwait. I started the hiring process immediately. It took nearly 2 months for paperwork, physical, forensic drug screening and security clearance upgrade to DoD Top Secret as the position required. On 2 January 2014, Lockeed retracted the job offer because I could not obtain an interim TS clearance. Everything else was great. I was told by LMSecurity further investigation was needed due to I was married to a foreign national and living abroad for extended years. I can’t blame Lockheed…call it more Karma. They couldn’t wait and needed the position filled ASAP.

    The relationship with my wife was about expired due to everything that happened. Me, I was trying to make hectic and frantic amends but she was done and rightfully so. She asked me to leave and I flew out on the 7th of January, 2014. I knew the gf moved back to Luzon so I contacted her for a roof over my head. I literally had no options and was in survival mode.

    Late January of 2014 she told me she was pregnant. I was devasted to be perfectly honest. I knew then having this child would really be the death of my marriage and any hopes of my wife wanting to try and move forward. A baby with the same gf after we lost our…not good at all. Sigh

    My wife is a very private woman. She doesn’t go around on Facebook or otherwise telling her problems. She just moved on. Problem lies with everything that I provided her. Again, I don’t blame her. It was my bad choices that created this mess and now it’s my bed to sleep in.

    I had a son September 23, 2014. He is healthy and super cute. To everyone, my wife knows everything because the woman is being sent pics, information to drive even larger wedges between us. Finally, I had to get her families involvement with the ex. It worked. Heck, they know everything as well.

    On August 28, 2014 I was in the ICU for 6 days. I was pretty much bed ridden 5 weeks after. I became so sick, I don’t remember very much of my time in the hospital. I contacted dengue fever. I had each and every symptom possible. It sucked, plain and simple. I’ve been 100% since mid November. http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/d...ever-reference

    With the birth of my son Paxton, soon after my sickness and the hospital bills and meds, I was flat broke. I had 3p to my name. Back in April 2014 I took a bus from Luzon to Manila to visit the US Embassy for assistance for a plane ticket back to the US since I knew what little I had in way of cash was almost gone. I told them my situation and was declined. If I had a warrant no problem. I told the assistant ambassador so if I commit a crime but only in the US and have a warrant you would assist? Yes was his response.

    I look for work for hours daily, all abroad. The sole reason for abroad work is its all expenses paid by the company and anywhere is closer to the Philippines except North America. Travel, apartment etc. Minimal expense on my end. That is not going well at all. I have a Philippine address on a resume….contact number etc. I was told by a LinkedIn contact, an HR hiring manager that it’s the hang up on my obtaining work. He thought I was not a US citizen based on my address via my resume. They don’t read further to see otherwise.

    Last month Peter offered me a bed at his house. A means to get on my feet once again. The whole issue is finances. I need anywhere between 2000-2500k to get started. About 700usd to 1100usd for a one way ticket from Manila to Providence, Rhode Island. Rates on cheaptickets.com change hourly. Includes taxes but not luggage. I plan on taking 30kg (70pds)…one suitcase. Work clothes etc. The remainder is survival money until I obtain work and a steady income. Food, hygiene, bus/train transportation, stateside drivers license (haven’t had US license in 21 years), telecommunication license for work and the list goes on. At least at the local VA Hospital I can obtain my meds for diabetes and basic health care.

    I haven’t had relations with the ex-gf since April of last year. I stay at her mother’s house, not with her; she stays at her sister’s house. I cut it off with her but stood by with the pregnancy and now with the little man. Her family is poor and has limited funds from her sister that works in Dubai. Diapers, formula, clothing and doctor visits are my main priority. When I obtain work, 8K peso (under 200usd) a month sent via West Union would be a substantial amount for my son as a newborn/toddler in the Philippines.

    As you might think, I am ashamed, embarrassed for asking assistance and my mistakes. I don’t have close relations with what family I do have left. Actually, what I did have was destroyed by the ex and wife. I’ve reached out and was ignored. I can pay back any amount to contributors once I find employment. I wholeheartedly understand that people have real life issues that most don’t know about.

    Anything, any financial assistance will be repaid in full. It’s not beneath me to apply for fast food or manual labor jobs. I just want and need to work and get on with my life. Starting over is where I will be at 45 years old. Guess it’s what people call the mid life crisis. Boy, they have no idea from my end.

    That about sums it up. Again, very sorry for the length of this letter. I appreciate any support and/or feedback. I can be contacted on Facebook directly or hit Peter up for my email with a private message for my information. Thank you all so much!

    Best Regards,
    Patrick


    http://www.gofundme.com/k6njy8

  2. #2
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    Let's help JCoS, I'm sure many of you remember him.

  3. #3
    R.I.P. 2015-05-13 minir's Avatar
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    We have missed you here at SG JCOS & i oft wondered how things were going and am saddened to hear of your troubles Patrick. Keep Smilin when able and things will soon turn your way i'm sure.

    Seems we all have to deal with a rough patch now and again just so we will appreciate the good times more.

    Praying for you my friend & forwarded a small donation which i hope helps in some small way. Absolutely no need to worry about repayment Patrick simply get yourself back on track again.

    ---

    regards

    Larry

  4. #4
    Senior Member BMED's Avatar
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    We are praying for your safe return and wish you the best!

    Good luck, BMED
    Last edited by BMED; 01-25-15 at 12:22 AM.

  5. #5
    Peace Debbie's Avatar
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    I filed my taxes on 1/30. Should be getting it in 2 weeks. As soon as I do, I will donate.

  6. #6
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone, Now that I am working, I will also be putting in semi-weekly donations.

  7. #7
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    Just got a message from Patrick (JCoS) on Facebook.

    Hi Philip! First, I want to thank you and the others for your generous donations at SG. Any bit helps. Could you please post a thank you for me as I will post once I get back to the US and have a stable wifi connection. I am in close connect with Peter. I am alive and safe just to let everyone know.
    Thanks to everyone who donated, but we can do much better if more people participate:

    http://www.gofundme.com/k6njy8

  8. #8
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    I'n the name of transparency. I sent JCoS $125 of the funds a few days ago via Western Union. He used the money to take a 8 hour bus trip (16 hour round trip) to gather his personal stuff (3 crates I believe) in preparation for the move. He has something being worked on. With any luck, he will be state side soon.

  9. #9
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    Spammy! Thanks for the help brother! Things are looking up. JCoS got some help from a family member also. With any luck, We are looking at the first or second week of April. One my new bank card arrives (mine died, Cant use credit with Western Union, only cash or Debit. And since I have USAA, I cant take cash out at a bank) I will send him more funds to do his security check and get the rest of his baggage. I want to thank everyone on behalf of JCoS for there generous help. I've been on this forum for a long time and you guys have never disappointed, even way back when we all pitched in to buy the controller for an old member and a flight sim. Will update as I get more news.

  10. #10
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    JCoS is now here with me.

  11. #11
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    This is great, welcome back Patrick!

    And a huge thanks for helping him out Pete.

  12. #12
    R.I.P. 2015-05-13 minir's Avatar
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    Thanks for the update morbidpete that is indeed great news.

    Hi JCOS...Welcome home.

    ---

    regards

    Larry

  13. #13
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    UPDATE:
    Patrick has been doing some serious work. Getting local resources. Help with Money, Food, Living items. Even Landed a job already with a great company. We are working on getting him back on the board. He will fill you in with more details. I don't want to steal his thunder. He is a pleasure to live with and dude always has a smile on his face even after all of this. PLus my dog likes him. So he has to be cool.

  14. #14
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    Thanks for the update Pete

  15. #15
    Senior Member BMED's Avatar
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    Tell that bonehead to get online and say hey!

  16. #16
    Administrator Philip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BMED View Post
    Tell that bonehead to get online and say hey!
    ikr ?

  17. #17
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    I told him lol. He has been busy :-P I'll hound him again today when I get home

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