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Thread: 3 Groaners!

  1. #1
    R.I.P. 2015-05-13 minir's Avatar
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    Wink 3 Groaners!

    John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.

    "Give me one last request, dear," he said.

    "Of course, John," his wife said softly.

    "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."

    "But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

    With his last breath John said, "I do!"

    ---

    My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

    He thought he was God, and I didn't.

    ---

    Three friends from the local congregation were asked,
    "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are
    mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

    Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband,
    a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

    Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher
    and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

    Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

    ---

    Larry

  2. #2
    Elite Member TonyT's Avatar
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    2 groaners but the last one is a goodun.
    No one has any right to force data on you
    and command you to believe it or else.
    If it is not true for you, it isn't true.

    LRH

  3. #3
    R.I.P. 2015-05-13 minir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TonyT View Post
    2 groaners but the last one is a goodun.

    ---

    33.3333 ain't great but what the hell.1/3rd

    Larry

  4. #4
    SG Enthusiast Far-N-Wide's Avatar
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    I lost my grandfather a few years back. An amazing man!!!, everyone went up balling and could not say four words in a row without sobbing. Now I know this guy lead a good life, he is up in heaven and I he went peacefully. At my turn I walked up towards the alter, to say a few things. I stopped at the box of ashes, leaned in. "Grandpa!, you lost weight!". Everyone bust out laughing, I told happy stories... miss him... think of him often.

    God Bless
    USAF RETIRED

  5. #5
    R.I.P. 2015-05-13 minir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Far-N-Wide View Post
    I lost my grandfather a few years back. An amazing man!!!, everyone went up balling and could not say four words in a row without sobbing. Now I know this guy lead a good life, he is up in heaven and I he went peacefully. At my turn I walked up towards the alter, to say a few things. I stopped at the box of ashes, leaned in. "Grandpa!, you lost weight!". Everyone bust out laughing, I told happy stories... miss him... think of him often.

    God Bless
    ---

    Good that you could see the joy in the man's life as opposed to the total sadness of his passing Far-N-Wide. Funerals are tough on everyone.

    ---

    Larry

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