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Thread: a letter from a wounded heart

  1. #81
    Peace Debbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadDoctor View Post
    Very true.

    There are social groups here on SG that belong to individuals. Who can be in that group is up to the owner. People that belong to the social group called "The disciples of Mad Doctor" have to obtain my permission to join. Once in (with your permission) you can be more open to what hurts and ask questions.

    Start a social group (talk to Ken or Philip about it) and continue to vent and ask for ideas. It's good and cleansing to talk about this stuff. It lightens the load by sharing with others.

    MD
    Excellent Idea Doc!

  2. #82
    Freedom Fighter jeremyboycool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoundEye View Post
    A quick question, she wants me to give her $500 a month support for Jay. Isn’t that a little high? I only get around $1500 a month from SS. I don’t want to cheat the kid but I have to live on a very limited income myself.
    Do you have a case worker that manages your SS and other such affairs? If so you should probably contact that person and make sure you do things by the book.
    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." - Stephen Hawking

  3. #83
    Peace Debbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadDoctor View Post
    Very true.

    There are social groups here on SG that belong to individuals. Who can be in that group is up to the owner. People that belong to the social group called "The disciples of Mad Doctor" have to obtain my permission to join. Once in (with your permission) you can be more open to what hurts and ask questions.

    Start a social group (talk to Ken or Philip about it) and continue to vent and ask for ideas. It's good and cleansing to talk about this stuff. It lightens the load by sharing with others.

    MD
    At least the social group is private if he wants to vent. Great suggestion Doc.

  4. #84
    Certified SG Addict Mrs.RoundEye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoundEye View Post
    When I said ďI doĒ I meant it, standing in front of friends, family and God himself. This week after 11 or so years Michelle and Tobey called it quits. Our real names. She said in the past 3 to 5 years Iíve changed. I shouldíve paid better attention. My best defense is Iíve have Multiple Scelorsis for maybe as much as ten years. Of course Iíve changed, I have an incurable disease eating my brain and nerve system. Youíre pretty youíll find someone else, Iím crippled and completely out of my mind at times. My chances are slim at finding someone else. On top of all this Iím not going to wallow in self pity. I think I might concentrate on building my three wheeler now. If I kill myself on it at least I died doing something I enjoyed. I wonít kill myself with some shotgun, I ainít going otut like a bitch. If the good die young my badass will life forever. I wish you all the best, I really do. We had some really great times and some bad ones but that is life.

    The thing is I wasnít going to put up with staying out to all hours of the night and never inviting me. Nope, no way, thatís not going to happen. That is why I told you to get the f**k out. When I fall now, Iíll just have to figure a way up or just sleep on the floor. One way or another weíll make it through this, I just want you tto remember this, I will go to my grave loving you and Jay.


    Tobey
    I no that everyone here thinks that I'm a [B]DIRTY B**CH /B] but what Tobey left out is that for the last past 5 yrs I have been telling him that we are having trouble and he blow me off as usual. just like when I and Jay would ask him to go places we where always told no. That gets old after awhile. Also when I said my vows I ment it also I Tryed so hard to make this work but all he seen me as is his MAID and after 11yrs of Marrage it should not be this hard. I did not leave because he got sick. I left becasue he got mean and because we stoped speaking to one another. If your not friend and not lovers what else is there?
    I'm getting scared, I can hear the voices from within RoundEye's head.

  5. #85
    Certified SG Addict Mrs.RoundEye's Avatar
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    Just for the record I will always Love Tobey we just cant be together no longer. We grow apart not together he shut me out for a long time and I don't no how to get it back. I told him that he can see Jay when ever he wants also I offered to help him when ever he needed me to. He kicked me out I didnt leave. Also I never went anywhere with out asking him until the last week before I finaly left..


    I was just told that he is in the Hostital but I'm not sure what is going on. when I find out anything I will post.

    I'm not on line very much but if anyone needs me or wants to no the whole story my side just PM me and I will give you my number.
    I'm getting scared, I can hear the voices from within RoundEye's head.

  6. #86
    Senior Member Gixxer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.RoundEye View Post
    Just for the record I will always Love Tobey we just cant be together no longer. We grow apart not together he shut me out for a long time and I don't no how to get it back. I told him that he can see Jay when ever he wants also I offered to help him when ever he needed me to. He kicked me out I didnt leave. Also I never went anywhere with out asking him until the last week before I finaly left..


    I was just told that he is in the Hostital but I'm not sure what is going on. when I find out anything I will post.

    I'm not on line very much but if anyone needs me or wants to no the whole story my side just PM me and I will give you my number.

    please keep us posted.
    a.k.a. GSXR 750

  7. #87
    Certified SG Addict CableDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gixxer View Post
    please keep us posted.

  8. #88
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Iím out of the hospital but not out of the woods yet, Iím fighting a serious case of pneumonia. I was miserable in the hospital and made them sign me out or I going AWOL. Either way I was leaving. The only good thing that came about from me being in there, they pissed me off by cutting back my pain meds to one 5mg vicodin every 6 hours, it let my mom my see that itís the shots of Rebif that are making me incoherant not the pain meds, which has been a big issue around here. Her pea brain had her stuck on the pain meds. Iím really sorry her sister died a Heroin addict but I am NOT my Aunt Bobbie. I haveínt touched that crap in my life nor do I ever intend of doing so. Itís basically a fight but I will get better. I have to, my only other option is death. No Iím not being melodramatic itís that severe.

    Thanks everybody for your concern, Iíll Keep yaíll informed.

    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  9. #89
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.RoundEye View Post
    I no that everyone here thinks that I'm a [B]DIRTY B**CH /B] but what Tobey left out is that for the last past 5 yrs I have been telling him that we are having trouble and he blow me off as usual. just like when I and Jay would ask him to go places we where always told no. That gets old after awhile. Also when I said my vows I ment it also I Tryed so hard to make this work but all he seen me as is his MAID and after 11yrs of Marrage it should not be this hard. I did not leave because he got sick. I left becasue he got mean and because we stoped speaking to one another. If your not friend and not lovers what else is there?
    I know I screwed up with the marrige conseler issue the first time but this time before you left and I offered and you said ďno, thereís nothing you can say or do to change things. To me your mind was made up so get the f**k out.

    I would love if you and Jay came back and lived with me but I lost, youíve alredy found another man. I hope you and him are happy together. I try to talk to you and get help as little as possible because honestly it still hurts when I see you leave because I know youíll never be back.

    Yes, when became real sick I became quite introverted. It was hard for me to face up to the fact I wasnít the same man nor would I ever be. Donít you find it a little ironic that the doctors even documented on paper that I may have had this for the past 3 to 5 years, right around the time the problems with our marrige were starting? Think about it some.

    Good luck with life.

    Tobey

    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  10. #90
    Insomniac Mutch's Avatar
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    I feel like this should be a conversation held in private?

  11. #91
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Itís a good thing the world doesnít revolve on how you feel. What you see is two people that still care for each other but no longer can live together for what ever reason. Itís a shame but such is life. We are trying to keep things civil for the benefit of our young son, even though sometimes things get heated when talk. Maybe it is best we write our feelings out. Weíre not telling lies or dogging on each other, all in all I think we have been pretty civil on the board. If it gets too far out of hand let a mod lock it, subject dropped. Just keep an eye on the thread for your next installment of As SpeedGuide Turns.
    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  12. #92
    R.I.P. 2013-11-22 blebs's Avatar
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    I love you both equally and really hate to see this happening to all of you. I'll spare the Marriage is a hard thing sometimes, speech.
    Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces people into thinking they can't lose. -Bill Gates

  13. #93
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Yes it sucks. Yes I do miss her and my son living here. Yes my life is on the board for the world to see.

    But

    Itís an open line of commincation where we donít argue. Sure, itís a rough deal for everybody involved. This is the hand I have been dealt so I have to play it out. The hardest part is to not let myself get to distraught about matters at hand. It also sucks because not only did I loose my wife, I lost a good friend of mine too. Trey and I use to do a lot together, he wasnít just some casual aquantence. Iíve known him over 20 years. Now I want to poke 9mm holes in him he canít breath through. I have to remind myself not to do anything stoopid. Neither one of them are worth going to jail over.

    Oh wellÖÖÖÖÖÖ..
    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  14. #94
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Let me add something to this. Not only am I about as harmless as an old toothless dog due to health reasons, my parents also took all my guns away just incase I have a momentary lapse of reason.


    Iím just saying that because I have no plans of doing something stoopid. I want to calm everybodyís nerves.


    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  15. #95
    Insomniac Mutch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoundEye View Post
    Itís a good thing the world doesnít revolve on how you feel. What you see is two people that still care for each other but no longer can live together for what ever reason. Itís a shame but such is life. We are trying to keep things civil for the benefit of our young son, even though sometimes things get heated when talk. Maybe it is best we write our feelings out. Weíre not telling lies or dogging on each other, all in all I think we have been pretty civil on the board. If it gets too far out of hand let a mod lock it, subject dropped. Just keep an eye on the thread for your next installment of As SpeedGuide Turns.
    I realise the world doesnt revolve on how i feel. Im also quite sure the world doesnt revolve around your MS, or your divorce.

    Every post you've made in the last.. how many months has been you discussing your ms. I know this may sound cold, but everyone knows you have MS, you dont need to remind everyone, EVERY POST.

  16. #96
    A+, S+, M+, C+, CySA+ Shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mutch View Post
    I realise the world doesnt revolve on how i feel. Im also quite sure the world doesnt revolve around your MS, or your divorce.

    Every post you've made in the last.. how many months has been you discussing your ms. I know this may sound cold, but everyone knows you have MS, you dont need to remind everyone, EVERY POST.
    If the man wants to post how he feels to the world, let him post. It does not hurt neither You or I. It helps sometimes to post your feelings about medical conditions and lost love ones. I myself, have done this in the past. If you don't want to read the thread, then don't read it.
    _______________________________________________
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  17. #97
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Then donít read my post. Unfortunately I do talk about it too much and Iím trying to quell that some. Maybe I talk about it so much because Iím so mind blown by it and I live with it every second of my life. I promise you Iíll try to stop talking about it so much and pay attention to what I say and write about it more. I know it is boring to yíall and I do talk about it too much. Iím just mind borked by how itís touched every aspect of my life. I promise you Iíll try to pay more attention to what I say for now on. Iím sorry itís just consuming me and it shouldnít.
    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  18. #98
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shinobi View Post
    If the man wants to post how he feels to the world, let him post. It does not hurt neither You or I. It helps sometimes to post your feelings about medical conditions and lost love ones. I myself, have done this in the past. If you don't want to read the thread, then don't read it.

    Thanks for the backup but he is right in a way. I think part of my problem is I am a shut-in. I donít drive and I rarely see any of my friends. The world doesnít stop just because Iím sick. They have lives too. The most contact I have with the outside world is this forum, shame isnít it?


    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

  19. #99
    Moderator Roody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shinobi View Post
    if the man wants to post how he feels to the world, let him post. It does not hurt neither you or i. It helps sometimes to post your feelings about medical conditions and lost love ones. I myself, have done this in the past. If you don't want to read the thread, then don't read it.
    +1

  20. #100
    R.I.P. 2018-07-16 RoundEye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mutch View Post
    I realise the world doesnt revolve on how i feel. Im also quite sure the world doesnt revolve around your MS, or your divorce.

    Every post you've made in the last.. how many months has been you discussing your ms. I know this may sound cold, but everyone knows you have MS, you dont need to remind everyone, EVERY POST.

    Let me add something, even though they arenít saying much, somebody is paying attention to this thread, it has over 1300 views.
    Sliding down the banister of life ..........................

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