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Thread: Jokes to offend everyone

  1. #1
    SG Enthusiast cybotron r_9's Avatar
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    Jokes to offend everyone

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?


    Juan on Juan





    What is a Yankee?


    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.








    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?


    The position of the dirt bag






    Why is divorce so expensive?


    Because it's worth it.






    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?



    Doughnuts







    Why is air a lot like sex?


    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.






    What do you call a smart blonde?


    A golden retriever.







    What do attorneys use for birth control?


    Their personalities.






    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?


    10 years and 45 lbs








    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?


    45 minutes







    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?


    Through his chest with a sharp knife







    Why do men want to marry virgins?


    They can't stand criticism.







    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,

    caring, and good-looking?


    Because those men already have boyfriends.






    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?


    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you







    Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?


    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.







    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?


    Because they have cotton balls.







    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?


    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.







    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?


    "Are you sure it's mine?"






    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?


    Mace will do that to you






    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?


    Everyone has the same DNA.







    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car

    only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?


    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.







    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?


    A different bar.






    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?


    They named him "Sum Ting Wong"







    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm

    shorter than the other?


    A speech impediment






    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?


    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."






    How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?


    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!







    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and

    a southern fairytale?


    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .." -



    A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....

  2. #2
    "Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?


    Mace will do that to you"


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