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Thread: Jokes that can be told in church

  1. #1
    SG Enthusiast blacklab's Avatar
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    Jokes that can be told in church

    Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
    'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
    The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is
    the happiest day of her life.'
    The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom
    wearing black?'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
    trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord,
    please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
    While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting
    her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and
    started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord,
    please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy
    says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
    they give him $50.'
    The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on
    piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
    The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a
    piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all
    the money!'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    An elderly woman died last month.. Having never married, she requested no
    male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
    she wrote, ' They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
    to take me out when I'm dead.'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to
    arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
    with them to Jerusalem ... A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a
    baby-sitter.'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
    five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father
    and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how
    to treat our brothers and sisters?'
    Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
    human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how
    Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
    Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
    and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have
    pain in my side I think I'm going to have a wife.'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
    preaching on the devil.. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all
    this Satan stuff?'
    The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's
    probably just your Dad.'
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  2. #2
    Broke
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    snicker snicker

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