Make sure your AP is set to a static ip address. For example, if your router address is 192.168.1.1 then set the AP ip to 192.168.1.2. This ensures the AP always has an ip address from the router and serves to retain its separateness on the lan. Then, on your laptop, set it up so windows manages the wifi connection, e.g. don't use the adapter manufacturer's wifi utility. If windows manages the wifi things are much smoother.
Rt click the windows wifi icon in the tray and select "View available wifi networks". Then click on "Change the order of preferred networks". Your friend's wlan is likely set as the first in the list now. Move your wlan to the top of the list. If other wlans are above your wlan in the list, then windows will try to connect to the first one at boot and fail, and then will assign a local ip address such as 169.xx.xx.xx. You must manage the preferrred wifi networks as well as their advanced options.
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