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Thread: Dear Santa

  1. #1
    SG Enthusiast blacklab's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada

    Dear Santa

    Deer Santa,
    I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud
    boy all yeer.
    Yer Friend, Billy
    Dear Billy,
    Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare.
    How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell?
    I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.

    Dear Santa,
    I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
    peace and joy in the world for everybody!
    Love, Sarah

    Dear Sarah,
    Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
    Dear Santa,
    I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
    my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
    Love, Teddy
    Dear Teddy,
    Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
    hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
    your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up
    that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.

    Dear Santa,
    I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
    dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
    Love gerald

    Dear Gerald,
    Who names their kid "Gerald" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
    I'll set you up with a Barbie.


    Dear Santa,
    I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
    carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
    Love, Susan

    Dear Susan,
    Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
    when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
    Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
    Dear Santa,
    What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
    making toys?
    Your friend, Thomas

    Dear Thomas,
    All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I
    spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
    drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
    while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

    Dear Santa,
    Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
    awake, like in the song?
    Love, Jessica
    Dear Jessica,
    Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
    I'm skipping your house.
    Dear Santa,
    I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please,
    PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
    Love, Timmy

    Dear Timmy,
    That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that
    crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

    Dearest Santa,
    We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
    Love, Marky

    Dear Mark,
    First stop callling yourself
    "Marky", that's why you're getting
    your ass whipped at school.
    Second, you don't live in a house, you live
    in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad
    just ike the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

    Sweet dreams,

  2. #2
    Moderator Roody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Central Florida
    Oldie, but goody.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Gixxer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    pretty good
    a.k.a. GSXR 750

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