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Thread: Race leathers and irritable bowel

  1. #1
    Imperial Impotentate brembo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2001

    Race leathers and irritable bowel

    Alright, so I got a supersport motorcycle. Yay. Also scored a good set of race leathers to protect my hide when I manage to eat it.

    Got up early this morning to take a spirited ride through the wondeful Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Hwy. 276 to be more exact. About 40 miles of switchbacks and sweepers that make performance enthusiasts drool. Had a grand time, riding over mountains and through misty valleys. Got all this done before 10am. On the ay back I decided to use the highways and and luck would have it, spotted a Waffle House. I was feeling a bit hungry so I stopped in to have a bacon, egg and cheese sammich.

    Geared back up and began my trek home, home being 45 miles away at this point. *Grumble* *gurgle*, ooof my stomach seems to be kinda ticked off, no worries tho...I'll be fine.

    20 miles from home. Every bump and jolt it causing my lower GI to spasm and threaten a blown seal. I'm in agony at the thought of the next choopy bit of asphalt. Let's just say that traffic laws were not bent, but shattered in an all out attempt to beat the unavoidable conclusion to the Waffle House NUCLEAR laxative I had eaten. I think the last 5 miles were done in less than 3 minutes and I found redline in MOST gears.

    Now the part that almost made my day horrible. Race leathers don't come off quickly. The thighs and calves have expansion panels that grip tightly and when one is fighting natures relentless call ANY delay can be dreadful. I'm surprised I didn't tear the leather in my haste to remove them. Thankfully humans were blessed with adrenaline and my fight or flight instinct kicked in and I kicked the crap out of my leathers and didn't soil myself(I'm 32 and that would have been a huge hit to my self-esteem).

    Great ride tho, had a wonderful time. Here are some pics of my bikes(I have three, but the trials bike is being loaned out right now)

    Tao_Jones Cult Member since 2004
    I gave Miss Manners a Dirty Sanchez, and she LIKED it.

  2. #2
    Token Dial-up User De Plano's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Well if the cops started chasing you you could have done the James Bond oil slick. Of course it would have been you sticking your ass off the back ****ting at redline, but one makes do with what is available

    Those leathers would have lost that "cool factor" right quick if you had been ten miles further from home. I think you should put one of those flap in the back, you know like a onesy has
    Last edited by De Plano; 06-03-06 at 11:23 AM.

  3. #3
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Northern CA
    love the background in the pictures, I miss the blue ridge mts every year at this time.

    Can almost hear the banjo music

    That must be the gimp den in the shed, eh? I think I see Ken's beady little eyes peering out.

  4. #4
    Second Most EVIL YARDofSTUF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Whats funny is that this was originally what you posted for your education lol

  5. #5
    ♫♪ ♫♪ ♫♪ ♫♪ downhill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    My Own Private Idaho
    Wear them backwards the next time you figure on stopping at a LI nuke place...

    Just don't wear them like that in a "leather" bar.

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