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Thread: Computer help desk :)

  1. #1
    TV Fanatic
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    Computer help desk :)

    Helpdesk

    Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

    ===============

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one...

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?

    ============== =

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    ===============

    Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


    ===============

    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought fo r me in the supermarket.

    ===============

    Customer: My keyboard is not w orking anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

    ===============

    Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my coll eague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.

    ===============

    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    ===============

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

    ===============

    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

    ===============

    And last but not least:....

    Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
    .

  2. #2
    Junior Member willfillmore's Avatar
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    Lightbulb funny!!!

    The most patient people must be found for tech support...
    "Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - A. Lincoln

  3. #3
    Senior Member Blisster's Avatar
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    That's brand new.


    Quote Originally Posted by Edward Abbey
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

  4. #4
    R.I.P. MissTynker2's Avatar
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    I have a girlfriend who is exactly like that!! I swear!! Are you sure you were not speaking with her? Thanks for the fun stuffens!
    Mystical Folding Minx

  5. #5
    Certified SG Addict CableDude's Avatar
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    <-- Used to work at a help desk

  6. #6
    Certified SG Addict CableDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by willfillmore
    The most patient people must be found for tech support...

    Ain't that the truth!!

  7. #7
    Certified SG Addict CableDude's Avatar
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    ME: I told someone the other day "to use the shortcuts on the desktop" the other day.

    Her: I don't know what the means.

    ME: and walks away.

  8. #8
    Ohh Hell yeah.. Sava700's Avatar
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    yeah I believe someone posted this a while back but still funny

  9. #9
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    I could never be patient enough to sit and listen to the dumb people calling the "computer help desk" at my University. There is plenty of ridiculous people there, who don't even know how to email! Haha

  10. #10
    Morterator Immortal's Avatar
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    I spent an hr teaching my aunt over the phone how to copy/move a file from one folder to another in win xp.

    I almost went nuts but she was my aunt so I couldn't. Afterwards, I went to the gym to go sparring.

  11. #11
    Certified SG Addict CableDude's Avatar
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    Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice bump.

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