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Thread: Ordering Pizza in 2008

  1. #1
    =+/TOOL FAN\+= Tawcan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Vancouver eh?

    Talking Ordering Pizza in 2008

    Read this on another forum...hopefully not a repost...

    This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is...

    Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?

    Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

    Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

    Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.

    Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is Which number are you calling from sir?

    Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

    Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

    Customer: The HSS, what is that?

    Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

    Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.

    Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

    Customer: Whaddya mean?

    Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

    Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

    Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

    Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

    Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

    Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

    Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

    Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

    Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.

    Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.

    Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.

    Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?

    Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

    Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

    Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.

    Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

    Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

    Customer: (speechless)

    Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

    Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..

    Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.

  2. #2
    SG Enthusiast Hopeful's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Sunny California
    Such left wing muck... People who come up with this stuff are way scary...
    Originally posted by Burke
    eBay is like Terra Eleven, a vast wasteland that not even Peter Strauss could tame.
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  3. #3
    Moderator Bouncer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 1999
    Psst! I think it's anti left wing. Note the "National Health Care" referenced. That's clearly an evil commie-liberal-leftie idea. As opposed to the more conservative "let children and negros die in the gutter" standard rightwing-fascist-nazi standard.

    ps: Anyone who thinks I'm being serious needs their head examined. If anything the piece is fairly Libertarian. Or Luddite.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2000
    Cleveland, Ohio
    She's presenting like a mandrill!

  5. #5
    Junior Member zooner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Buffalo, NY
    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful
    Such left wing muck... People who come up with this stuff are way scary...

    sounds more republican to me.
    Strap It On Whenever It Seems Appropriate

  6. #6
    Certified SG Addict
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Free your mind of the false left-right paradigm, because this is really coming, no matter who's party is in power.

  7. #7
    Certified SG Addict Brent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 1999
    sounds about right

    scary future we are moving into

    mark of the best type stuff

    i will not allow any type of implant under my skin, ever, no barcodes tattooed on me, nothin of the sort etc....

    got to keep a close eye on all of this

  8. #8
    Elite Member Jim's Avatar
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    Oct 2000
    It's the god-damn 'La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo' I tell ya!

  9. #9
    MadDoctor Club Spammy's Avatar
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    Dec 2000
    MadDoctors Wool.
    - Reps for being a smartass.
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