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Thread: I want to kill my dog

  1. #1
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Angry I want to kill my dog

    Got home from work well over an hour ago.

    Dogs looked guilty but upon a quick inspection of the apartment everything looked ok.

    About 15 minutes ago I noticed a book in a dark corner of the kitchen looked a bit soggy, like it was sitting in water.

    Turned out to be a 1/2 gallon jug of canola oil my friend left with me when he moved ( )

    One of the dog appears to have jumped up onto the counter, gnawed open the bottle cap, and knocked the container over Damn oil all over about 3 feet of counter top...took out a good Vietnam novel and a Moosewood cookbook among other things.

    Dripped down the cabinet in one place and puddled on the floor. Greasy paw prints all over the damn place...arrrggghhh.

    here's the kicker. If I turned on the range light and bent down near the countertop I can see these greasy little paw prints trotting from the oilspill on the left side of the kitchen countertop, across the range (detouring at some dishes there) before continuing on to the OTHER siode of the damn kitchen, still on the countertop, to nose around the cutting board, knock over the coffee maker, and check out the compost and dishes in the sink before hopping down.

    Only one of my dogs has paws this small, and his ass just went sailing out the back door at about 30 mph.


    damn damn damn

  2. #2
    Senior Member BMED's Avatar
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    sounds like bad parenting on your part...


    Maybe a message was being sent!

  3. #3
    Advanced Member jumpingrat's Avatar
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    That's why I have cats. okay so I find (by smell) an ex-bird under some peice of furniture once in a while but otherwise they are pretty stealthy when ruining my stuff.
    Null

  4. #4
    Resident Rodent Randy's Avatar
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    man that totally sux
    oil everywhere
    have fun cleaning

    I was going to post a link to that thread, but the SG search results for "bullsh|t" were too numerous

    sometimes you have to think outside the box to get inside the box .

  5. #5
    Uninsured for your health
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    Showed this to my freind and she still couldn't stop laughing 20 minutes after she read it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Three Rivers Designs
    America! Love it or give it back!

  6. #6
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Originally posted by CiscoKid
    Showed this to my freind and she still couldn't stop laughing 20 minutes after she read it.

    pics?

    damn, this is taking forever to clean

  7. #7
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    Originally posted by Humboldt
    pics?

    damn, this is taking forever to clean
    one word...

    Latina!

    If she knew I posted a pic witout permission, you gunna clean up the mess she makes when killing me? lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Three Rivers Designs
    America! Love it or give it back!

  8. #8
    resident Humboldt's Avatar
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    Originally posted by CiscoKid
    one word...

    Latina!

    If she knew I posted a pic witout permission, you gunna clean up the mess she makes when killing me? lol
    I like Latinas

    Beautiful women

    lol, it'd be easier to clean up your blood and guts then it would be all this damn oil.

  9. #9
    that why i have a chiuhauha

    best choice i ever made

    the guy thinks he is a huge dog, but he is just a pipsquaek


    and can barely do any damage

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