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Thread: Supervisor Quotes

  1. #1
    Ft. Couch! morbidpete's Avatar
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    Supervisor Quotes

    Supervisor Quotes:

    These are ACTUAL supervisor quotes taken from employee performance
    evaluations --

    1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
    started to dig."

    2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

    3. "This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a
    definite won't be."

    4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat
    in a trap."

    5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."

    6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

    7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

    8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails
    to achieve them."

    9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

    10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

    11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

    12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

    13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

    14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

    15. "He's been working with glue too much."

    16. "He would argue with a signpost."

    17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

    18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

    19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

    20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

    21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection."

    22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

    23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

    24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

    25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

    26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

    27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

    28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

    29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

    30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

    31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

    32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

  2. #2
    The Quiet One WhoNut's Avatar
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    Woops! I think I've heard all these during our daily manager's meeting.

    My own personal favorite: "He's a paint chip eatin', open mouth breather that couldn't dump the water out of his boots if they had instructions on the heels."

    Note: I have many excellent employees; the above is reserved for a select few.
    When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come? With your hands at your head, or the trigger of your gun?

  3. #3
    Certified SG Addict Indy's Avatar
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    Brembo's review?

    9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

    ------
    “The most beautiful thing we can experience in life is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: for his eyes are closed.” - Albert Einstein

  4. #4
    BE HAPPY ! ! ! ! ! poptom's Avatar
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    Good ones! All of them.

    ______
    "Mr President, you have big balls" - Dominica prime minister Eugenia Charles to Ronald Reagan after the invasion of Grenada, 1983

    "We win and they lose. What do you think of that?" - Ronald Reagan, 1977

  5. #5
    disabled account
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    WOW, this one is still making the rounds. Funny as all get out, though.
    I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.

  6. #6
    Advanced Member LukeMan's Avatar
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    6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."


    I know him!
    They told (us) to open up the Embassy, or "we'll blow you away." And then they looked up and saw the Marines on the roof with these really big guns, and they said in Somali, "Igaralli ahow," which means "Excuse me, I didn't mean it, my mistake".

    Karen Aquilar, in the U.S. Embassy; Mogadishu, Somalia, 1991

  7. #7
    SG Enthusiast Hopeful's Avatar
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    thats friggin hillarious!
    Originally posted by Burke
    eBay is like Terra Eleven, a vast wasteland that not even Peter Strauss could tame.
    P IV Processor 2.4 gHZ, ECS p4 motherboard, Windows XP, 512 MB of Ram, Radeon 9500 Pro, 60 GB WD HD, 20 GB IBM HD, Verbatim CDRW,

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